Insomnie
by Aena Paula -Echidna
Summary: Modern Day Tokyo: Kakashi, Zabuza and Gaara are part of a JRock band named Insomnie. This is a story about Kakashi’s discovery of self, friendship, and finding love in its most unusual form. completed
1. Taboo

**Dans la pénombre frémissante sous la flamme tremblante   
Insomnie **

**In the shivering darkness under the flickering flame  
Insomnia**

_The lights burn red and the crowd cheers. _

_The flame lights on a redhead with shadowed eyes. Behind him, an imposing man, a monster, bangs a beat on the drums. Beside him, a lone guitarist plays a lilting melody to the redhead's thumping bass. The redhead closes his eyes and sings a haunting tune…._

Kakashi watches all of this passionlessly as he smokes in the dark boardroom. A car light passes by through the window outside and momentarily lights up his silver hair and pale skin. There is a glint from his red eye before the lights of the car pass, leaving him in darkness once again. 

"It was good," Gaara says slowly, monotonously as he puts out his own cigarette on a clear ashtray on the table. 

"I still think they could have focused on me more," Zabuza grumbled, his big frame slouched forward on the leather seat. 

"You still couldn't figure out what's wrong?" Asuma, their manager, pushed himself off the wall and pressed the remote control for pause. Everyone, including Kakashi, leaned forward to look at Zabuza the drummer mid-strike. 

"Zabuza looks the same as always," Kakashi commented. Zabuza and Kakashi had been working together for several years, before they arranged a band called Insomnie along with a new member, Gaara. He didn't know too much about Gaara, but the kid had talent and took his work seriously. They had been playing together for a total of two years. 

"That's the problem," Asuma said, puffing on his cigar. "You all look the same. Check out the new groups coming out now. They all have one thing that you don't – image. Why, just the other day, I ran into Gai's kids and they had on neon pink wigs with lace, lots of lace," Asuma emphasized. 

"It's not about the image," Kakashi sighed, feeling the familiar argument coming up again. "It's about the—," 

"About the music," Asuma finished for him. "Well, music alone's not going to get you anywhere these days. Tomorrow, you all have a photo shoot and I want you to wear costumes to spruce things up. And yes, you may keep the masks." Both Zabuza and Kakashi leaned back again, quiescent. Without further word, Asuma ejected the videotape, gathered his things, and left. 

"My birthday is tomorrow," Gaara said, crossing his arms and sitting as still as a statue. "I want you both to come." 

"NOW the kid tell us?" Zabuza said, wringing his hair in his hands. "How old are you turning, anyway?" 

"Nineteen." 

"He'll be legal age, then," Kakashi said, eyes crinkling above his black mask. "What say we take him out on the rounds?" 

"Only if there's drinking," Zabuza pointed out, then laughed deeply and heartily. 

They all got up, Kakashi picking the invisible dust particles off his suit that only he could see. Zabuza and Gaara rolled their eyes and were on their way out the door when Kakashi stopped Gaara with a hand to his shoulder. Gaara looked up at him. 

"What do you want for you birthday?" Kakashi asked, eyes crinkling again. 

Gaara shrugged out his shoulders and walked away. "Get me a toy that I don't have." 

Kakashi sighed. This was going to be difficult. What sex toy DOESN'T Gaara own? 

* * *

Kakashi sat on a Tokyo subway, listening to his MD. He stared lifelessly through the glass window opposite, and the woman sitting beneath the window reading her magazine became uncomfortable and recrossed her legs. They were in a tunnel and the wall of the tunnel was grey, simply grey. 

Kakashi crossed his arms. He was still wearing his black mask and it covered the bottom half of his face so that people could only see his steel grey eyes. He was wearing his black business suit today and his black leather pants absorbed the light as the subway weaved in and out of the tunnels. 

When had his life come to this? Now that things were going well with the band and the fans were rolling in, it still seemed as if something was…missing. He remembered the old days, the darker days, when it was just him and Zabuza and their competitions with other bands and wheedling with the right people (and, more often than not, the wrong people), and trying to make a living while laughing at their situation (and the drugs, the drugs….). Despite being stupid, they were alive…with passion. 

Now he just felt old. He was twenty-six this year, the same age as his high school friend, Zabuza. The mask had been what they were, their cult, their symbol and it was the only remnant of what they used to be. Mind you, there was absolutely nothing wrong with Gaara. The kid was respectful and it wasn't his choice to be frontman when their record company juggled band members in their precise movements to regain popularity. But it just wasn't the same. 

At his precise stop, Kakashi got up. The woman reading across from him looked up in horror. She was one of those office ladies who gave the outer image of being prim and proper but he could tell that she secretly wanted someone to raise her into his arms with passion and do unspeakable things to. Like stuff he read in his adult novels. He could tell because as she crossed her legs in front of him, she was wearing lacy red underwear. Nodding to the lady in greeting, he exited the subway doors, never to see her again. 

He walked out onto the night streets, hands in his pockets and started smoking another cigarette. He had no idea what to get Gaara for his birthday. After buying some groceries for tonight's dinner, he wandered over to the sex district where he knew he would probably find what he was looking for. And maybe a little something for himself, as well…. 

He was about to enter his favourite sex toy shop when someone beat him there first. 

He stopped in his tracks to admire two young ladies who were gossiping excitedly about several items through the windowpane. One of them had bleached blond hair in a dramatic ponytail and the other had short pink hair cut in a cute shag. There were only two people in the world he knew who looked like that. And neither of them belonged to him. 

The pink-haired one noticed him first. "Kakashi!" and ran up to him and held him in a cute embrace. Kakashi looked away nonchalantly, trying not to notice the fact that her short miniskirt was rubbing against his thigh. 

"Oi, Sakura, what if Gaara sees us?" Ino said, looking around. Ever the practical one, she nodded to Kakashi in greeting through her heavily made-up eyes. Sakura let go of him, with a little regret on Kakashi's part. 

"What are you girls doing here?" 

"We're buying Gaara a birthday present!" Sakura explained, showing him a bag of naughty goodies. 

Kakashi took a quick glimpse, not too interested in Gaara's sex life. "A dildo? Doesn't he have about ten of those already?" 

"Actually, that one's not for Gaara," Ino said, quickly snatching the bag away. "That one's for us." Beside her, Sakura giggled. 

Kakashi paled and tried not to think of Gaara's cats naked and performing sex acts in front of each other but the image reached him all the same. "I…see." 

"Well, see ya!" Sakura said, giving him a little wave. They both walked off, high heels clicking after them. 

Nothing that he ever bought Gaara could ever compare with what those two girls were going to give him tomorrow night. Opening the store door, he entered. 

* * *

Kakashi walked back to his apartment, content and satisfied. Carrying his bag of groceries, he was about to enter when a young man ran past him, nearly knocking him to a wall. The young man locked eyes with him for a second before running off into the dark night. 

Kakashi shook his head. Kids these days. The boy looked at him like he thought he knew him, but that shouldn't be too surprising since Insomnie made several t.v. appearances as of late. Juggling his groceries, Kakashi stopped short when he saw a basket of fruits lying on his doormat. Unlocking the door, he kicked the basket of fruits inside. He completely missed the OTHER note lying half under the doormat. 

Kakashi didn't bother turning on the lights. His eyes were more used to the dark anyway. Putting the basket of fruits on the table, he plucked the note written in neat handwriting from its handle: 

_Kakashi, you are hardly ever home when I visit. Please do take care of yourself and come visit us sometime. By the way, here is a basket of fruits from the wife. _

_~Iruka_

It was his younger brother, Iruka. Iruka was the complete opposite from him. Apart from being a schoolteacher at the local high school, he was also involved regularly in temple activities and volunteered his time once a week at a senior's home, chatting with the elderly and otherwise being a good Samaritan. Kakashi sighed, crumpled the note, and left the basket of fruit lying on the table. Maybe he could bring it to Gaara's tomorrow. 

Kicking off his shoes, he lay on the couch and watched his incredible stack of porn tapes until he fell asleep. As usual, he dreamed of nothing. 

* * *

Kakashi, Zabuza, and Gaara were walking down the halls of the record office wearing their so-called "costumes". 

By far, Kakashi thought that his own costume was the most dramatic, since he normally preferred dress suits to any occasion. The plastic of his tight, black body suit glinted in abnormal hues as he walked down the hall, and decorative leather straps covered the length of his arms and the sides of his body, making it difficult to move. Of course, he wore his signature black mask but his hair was purposefully messier than usual and hung down over his good eye. His other, red eye, from the coloured contacts he normally wore was all one could see of his face. Heavy black make up granted him smoky eyes like Gaara. He dragged a black oxygen tank along with tubing behind him. 

"Why must I dress up like this? You guys look almost normal in comparison to me," Kakashi complained. 

Gaara wore a black netting top and black overall shorts with black army boots. One could see his nipples peeping enticingly through the fabric. "We all agreed that you would be the freak of the group. Besides…today's my birthday," and he grinned ferociously revealing his sharp tiger teeth. 

"And you?" Kakashi asked Zabuza, getting tired of dragging his oxygen tank. 

"I ain't getting in that outfit," Zabuza said. Zabuza was going topless today, revealing his naturally muscular body adorned with intricate tattoos. The tattoos were impressive but Zabuza rarely revealed them. Surprisingly enough, he was the most modest of the group. This was due mostly to his girlfriend, Kurenai, who was a hot bitch. 

"We're here," Asuma announced from up front, pleased. 

The photographers and make-up artists ushered them in front of a white silk-screen where they would be spending the next two hours as squirrels caught in headlights. Kakashi hefted the black oxygen tank to his back, attached the vacuum tubing to his face and crossed his arms, clearly displeased. 

"Keep that pose!" one of the photographers shouted, getting in a quick shot when he least expected it. He glared with his one red eye and they did it again. 

"You know, you really look like a freak," Zabuza said, tilting his head. 

"Shut up," Kakashi answered pleasantly, grimacing through his mask. But, of course, no one could see it. 

After a couple of Kakashi shots, the three of them got together for some group photographs. Gaara stood in the middle while Kakashi stood at his left shoulder, staring lazily at the camera with Zabuza on the right. Then they brought in some freakish props which they insisted Kakashi use. "Amateur stuff," Gaara scoffed, kicking at a medieval torture device. Kakashi and Zabuza rolled their eyes at him. If Asuma only new how twisted Gaara actually was…. 

"Okay, I think we're done for today," Asuma said. "I'll give you guys the rest of the day off since it's Gaara's birthday. Here ya go, kid," Asuma said, passing Gaara a bottle of cognac wrapped in ribbon. 

"Thanks," Gaara said, rolling the wine bottle in his hands. Kakashi guessed that Gaara was planning on how he was going to use it as a sex prop on his two cats. He probably wasn't far off the mark. 

"That's it. I'm starving," Zabuza said, stalking out of the room and leaving the rest of them behind. 

Kakashi shrugged. "Meet at your place at six?" 

Gaara merely nodded and rolled the bottle of cognac over in his hands, lost in its depths. If Gaara was impressed with that, wait till he sees what Kakashi got for him from the sex shop yesterday. 

* * *

Kakashi was late. As usual. He stood at Gaara's stoop, wondering if they already ate dinner without him. 

Ino answered the door. "Hi," is all she said. Taking the basket of fruits from Kakashi, she beckoned him inside with the crook of her finger. Like an unwitting insect, he entered her web of seduction. 

Loud industrial music blared from the rec room to the left. Kakashi nearly tripped over a ball and chain lying on the floor. Gaara forgot to clean up. Or maybe he had already started playing this afternoon. 

"Kakashi!" Kurenai greeted him, getting up from the kitchen table and giving him a quick peck to the cheek. She smelled pleasant and her outfit was extra revealing today. From the table, Zabuza scowled. 

"Where's birthday boy?" Kakashi asked, trying not to get too distracted as Ino ate a peach from his fruit basket IN THAT WAY. 

"Playroom," Ino said, juice running down her lips, which she slowly licked off. 

"Ah, thanks," Kakashi said, quickly heading out of there. Reaching the playroom, he knocked politely. 

"Gaara! I told you not to start now! Look what you did to my dress!" Sakura. 

There was a slight scuffle, then Gaara answered the door, his collar a little ripped. 

"Happy birthday," Kakashi said, passing Gaara his present. 

"What is it?" Gaara asked, running the package over in his hands as Sakura ran up behind him and hugged him around the waist. 

"You'll find out when you blow it up!" Kakashi said. 

Gaara nodded, knowing exactly who to ask for the job. 

Dinner was finger food made by Ino and Sakura. As Ino and Sakura sat across from him and started feeding one another, Kakashi cleared his throat and decided to strike up a conversation with Kurenai to his left. 

"How have you been doing?" he asked gently. 

Kurenai smiled demurely as her wavy black hair fell across her shoulders and tickled her breasts. "Oh, life has been good to me lately," she answered mysteriously. "Zabuza has been a good boy too. In fact…" Kurenai leaned in close to whisper something into his ear. "Don't tell Zabuza this but…I think I'm pregnant." 

"With who?" Kakashi asked, smirking. 

Kurenai slapped his hand playfully. "Oh, you know my heart's only for Zabuza," she said, glancing at Zabuza who was currently in the process of blowing up Kakashi's present. "But he's just so sensitive, you know? I don't know how he's going to take it…. You understand, right?" Kurenai looked up at him, the look of playfulness not completely masking the concern beneath her eyes. 

Kakashi nodded. He had known Kurenai for longer than Zabuza had, and Kurenai and Zabuza had met through him. But there were still some secrets about Kurenai that Zabuza wasn't privy to, and sometimes it was best that his childhood friend JUST NOT KNOW. 

Just then, Sakura laughed and Ino, surprisingly enough, joined in. They were laughing and pointing at Zabuza and the doll he just blew to life. 

"Why did you buy a doll with a tail?" Zabuza asked confusedly, still blowing air through the hole in the doll's tail. 

"That's not a tail," Gaara commented, smirking. 

Grasping the doll's "tail", it wasn't until Zabuza looked up that he realized which end he was blowing into. "Awww, Kakashi!" Zabuza exclaimed, immediately releasing the blow-up doll. "You bought him a dick-girl?" 

"Well, I heard it was the latest IN thing, plus, I don't recall Gaara ever owning one. Gaara said he wanted something different," Kakashi said, trying to shift the blame. 

"Oooooh, Gaara, can we try it out tonight, pretty please?" asked Sakura prettily. 

Gaara shrugged. "If you want." 

Kurenai stood up and stretched. "Well, I think it's about time we bring birthday boy out to have some fun." It was 10 p.m. 

"I want to go clubbing," Gaara said, smiling. 

* * *

They were lining up outside a club called "Taboo", a place of Kurenai's picking. While Kurenai sidled up to the bouncers and persuaded them with her ample charm, Kakashi lit another cigarette and stared out into the night. He thought he saw the boy who bumped rudely into him yesterday enter the club but he wasn't sure. He shrugged and trampled the cig beneath his feet as Kurenai called the okay and they entered Taboo. 

The place had two floors, which was quite nice. Kakashi immediately sidled up to the bar while Gaara and his girls hit the dance floor. 

He ordered his favourite shooter, then another. It wasn't until he was slightly intoxicated that he began to relax. For some reason, he spotted the dark-haired boy from yesterday staring at him, so he turned around and was faced with an extremely red-faced Kurenai. "Come on," she shouted above the blaring music, taking his hand in one of her bracelet-covered arms. 

_We ain't no boys we grown men   
If you ain't gon' dance well don't then   
Why you wanna waste a nigga song then   
__See your ass down doing nothing_

Gaara was already on the dance floor grinding with his two cats. Sakura was on his front and Ino was holding him from behind. Kakashi supposed he wasn't the only male present jealous of the red-haired boy. 

_Face the wall shawty, put your hands on it   
Bounce that ass up and down, make a nigga want it   
Face the wall shawty, put your hands on it   
Bounce that ass up and down, make a nigga want it _

Kurenai started doing the grinding motion around him and Kakashi stood there, embarrassed and holding onto his drink. Where was Zabuza when you needed him most? Scanning the premises, Kakashi spotted Zabuza sitting by the bar having a drink. Well, of course. 

_Roll that ass 'round and 'round like a mothafuckin' wheel   
Shake that shit, this ain't no mothafuckin' drill   
Roll that ass 'round and 'round like a mothafuckin' wheel   
Shake that shit, this ain't no mothafuckin' drill _

He supposed it wouldn't hurt to humour Kurenai a bit. First chance he got, he would grab Zabuza over and make him dance with his own girlfriend. Slipping a hand around her waist, he let her guide him. 

_Get crunk with it! Get loose with it!   
Like Short said, let Bruce Bruce hit it!   
Get crunk with it! Get loose with it!   
Like Short said, let Bruce Bruce hit it!_

That was when Kurenai leaned over, wrapped an arm around his neck, and said, "You know, I always liked you the best, Kakashi." Her breath was heavily intoxicated. She leaned heavily into his arms. 

_Shake it like a dollar, a five or ten   
But what would you do for a twenty-twen   
Get on the stage shake that ass then   
Get on the pole and do a back bend_

Gaara and his cats were on the platform by now. They did their own little show and the lights shone down on their sparkling, sweaty skin. Kakashi had the odd urge at that moment to stick a $20 into Sakura's skirt. 

_Sixteen bitches with thongs in one club   
The home of the 5th rated bones and big butts   
Nice big pussys splittin' all over the floor   
Hornafied, can't deny, certified pro_

Kakashi thought it was just about time that Zabuza take Kurenai home. Pulling her off the dance floor, he supported her around her waist. The alcohol on the floorboards made her slip and she fell, nearly taking Kakashi with her. Kakashi helped her up again, then realized that he could see part of her breast through her disarrayed dress. He reached down and quickly tugged her top back up to cover her exposed nipple. 

_On a pole upside down (this shit for real)   
Did the sixty-nine plenty of times to pay her bill   
Brawd say she a clerk by night she turn stripper   
You don't wanna date her you tryin' so you can tip her _

"Zabuza," Kakashi said, hauling Kurenai out of the crowd. Zabuza turned around slowly, in the middle of chatting with a friend. The friend – Male? Female? – nodded politely to Kakashi and left. "I think you'd better take Kurenai home. She's had a little too much to drink." 

"For god's sake, Kurenai," Zabuza grumbled gently, taking her in his arms. Kakashi let the happy couple wander off, and Zabuza called back over his shoulder, "I'll be back! The night's only started!" 

_Row, like a 18-wheeler   
That hoe fine, but this hoe a killa'   
She leakin', she soakin' wet   
She leakin', soakin' wet_

Kakashi raised a glass to him. By now, Gaara had taken some alcohol and poured it down Sakura's dress. Sakura giggled and flung her wet hair around. Bending down, Gaara slowly licked the alcohol off her breast.

The rest of the night passed by uneventfully. When Zabuza returned, he continued talking to his male/female friend. Kakashi was in the middle of chatting with the bartender when Gaara appeared, two cats in tow. Sakura looked scared, and she was hanging onto Gaara like a wild animal while Ino coolly ordered herself a drink. 

"What happened?" Kakashi asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Some creep tried to cop a feel on me," Ino said, flinging her hair back, "but then Gaara bit the guy's lip until it bled, didn't you Gaara?" Ino took a napkin dipped in alcohol and started wiping Gaara's lip lovingly with it. Gaara only nodded. 

Trying to act as if this was an everyday occurrence, Kakashi unconsciously adjusted his shirt collar while he ordered drinks for them all. Sakura only took a sip and gave the rest of hers to Gaara. Gaara downed all of them, then ordered a couple more. 

It didn't take Gaara too long to be nearly passed out. "You're even worse than Kurenai," Kakashi muttered, taking him under one arm. Ino took the other and, together, they struggled out of Taboo. "Don't get home too late," he called back to Zabuza. Zabuza waved his hand, still talking to his friend, who started to laugh. 

They all got a ride in Kakashi's car, Kakashi at the front while Gaara was sitting between his cats at the back. As Kakashi drove Gaara and his girls home, he began to wonder on what Kurenai said to him before…. She was probably just heavily intoxicated then and didn't know what she was saying. Then he remembered his hand accidentally brushing against her breast as he tugged her clothing up. He nearly missed his turn and the car swerved and rocked back and forth, then righted itself again. The three kids at the back didn't seem to notice. 

"Gaara, wake up. Wake up!" Sakura said on his left, slapping his cheeks. Gaara's red face, not quite so red as his hair, rolled over and fell on her lap. "Awww, now we can't test out that new doll that Kakashi gave us!" 

"Sure we can," Ino said, pulling Gaara up again from his right. "We'll just play with it on ourselves." Kakashi nearly missed a red light. 

"But wouldn't that be cheating?" Sakura wondered, putting a hand to her lips. 

"Not if we don't tell him, it won't," Ino said slyly, fondly brushing Gaara's face. "You won't tell him, will you, Kakashi?" 

"What did you say?" Kakashi pretended, still trying to get Sakura and Ino out of his head. 

Kakashi parked his car at the curb, and Sakura, Gaara, and Ino piled out. "You sure you don't need help with that?" Kakashi asked, about to get out of his car. 

"No…" Sakura said, struggling under Gaara's weight in her high heels. Ino took Gaara's other shoulder and, together, they hobbled off. They were arguing on who got to use the doll first, then mutually decided that they would do it together. 

Kakashi drove off. At least someone was enjoying his birthday present. 

* * *

Kakashi was about to enter his own apartment when he noticed the note on the floor. Tiredly, he picked it up. Was it Iruka again? 

The words were in some other language, probably French. He recognized the name of his band, Insomnie. Insomnia. 

Kakashi looked up when he heard slow footsteps approaching. "Who's there?" 

The footsteps paused. He could make out a person's figure in the deeper recesses of the wall's shadow, hesitant. 

"Look," Kakashi reasoned, getting tired of weird things happening. "I should be more freaked out than you are at this point." He just wanted to go back to bed and sleep…. 

Someone stepped out of the shadows. Kakashi squinted. He could be wrong, but he was pretty sure it was the same boy staring at him from Taboo. What? So now he had a personal stalker now? "What do you want?" he said. 

"Kakashi?" the boy said, stepping into the light. The boy's eyes looked dilated and more than a little watery. His lips had a slight bruise to the bottom lip and, for some reason, that was all that Kakashi could focus on right now. 

Then the boy collapsed at his feet. Kakashi looked down at the pathetic mass. Why did this have to happen to him? 

**Credits: This story was inspired by a song called "Insomnie" by Les Nubians. The lyrics at the top are also from that song :P And, of course, the song playing at Taboo is by Ying Yang Twinz feat. Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz - Salt Shaker (it's such a booty shakin' song!) Kakashi's penchant for business suits probably came from Gackt on a subconscious level. I probably stuck in some Gravitation themes subconsciously as well. Um...well, hope you enjoyed it! This is my first drama, so I hope I wasn't overdoing anything.... ~luv Echidna**


	2. The Kiss

**(Please just assume that Kakashi has grey eyes. I wrote the whole part 2 before looking back at an anime pic and realizing that Kakashi's eyes were boring black :P)**

**J'entends des voix   
Des coups   
Des gens qui se batten  
Des gens qui courent **

**I hear voices   
From knocking   
From people who fight with themselves  
From people who run**

The kid smelled of alcohol…and something else. Picking the kid up easily in his arms, he struggled through the doorway. He was just tempted to leave the kid on the floor (why did he have to treat him so well?) but decided that if he himself were to pass out at, say, Zabuza's place, he wouldn't want to be sleeping on an uncomfortable floor either. So the couch it was. 

He placed the kid on one of his white leathers, then wondered what he should do next. Perhaps he should try waking him up? But…the kid just looked so peaceful sleeping there. He stared hardly at the deepening bruise on the kid's lip. It was a harsh and brutal contrast to the rest of his face. Kakashi just kept staring at the budding lips, which were now muttering something in sleep. He quickly averted his eyes away. What was he doing? 

Finally deciding that his own sleep was infinitely more important than that of a stranger's, he changed into his black silk pants (which was pretty much the only thing he wore to bed nowadays), brushed his teeth, and was about to get ready for bed when he heard his name called. 

"Kakashi," the boy said weakly. 

Kakashi wandered back to the living room and took a seat on an ottoman across from the boy. The boy's eyelids fluttered open as he wondered where the hell he was. 

"You're at my place," Kakashi said simply, wanting to get some answers. "Now that you know my name, what is your name?" 

"Sasuke," the boy uttered. The boy coughed and tears started coming out of his eyes. 

"What…what happened to you?" Kakashi asked, his voice coming out harsher than he intended. 

Sasuke shook his head. Fine. Have it your way. 

"How do you know my name?" Kakashi pressed. If the boy threw up on his couch, he was kicking him out right there. 

Sasuke decided not to answer him. "You look very beautiful," he said quietly. 

Kakashi reached up to touch his face. He forgot to put on his mask while in public. There are very few people in the world who know what his face looks like under there. Sometimes, he doubts even Zabuza remembers. 

Sasuke chose just about that time to throw up on the couch. 

* * *

"You're late," Asuma said, at the recording studio. 

"I…never mind." Kakashi gave up. He looked for his other band members and was startled to realize that they weren't here yet. 

"That's what I've been wondering," Asuma said, reading his mind. "Just what happened yesterday?" 

"Nothing," Kakashi sighed, grumpy. If there was anything that he hated more in the world, it was other people being late. He spent so much effort today, dammit! 

After cleaning up his own sofa, he kicked the kid out. He didn't care if he was being irresponsible or a child abuser. There was only so much he could take in one night. He must have gotten only four hours of sleep. 

When Gaara came in five minutes later, Kakashi decided that he himself was better off. 

Gaara looked like he hadn't slept in three days. His hair was a mess and the black eye shadow that Ino probably drew in for him that morning did nothing to hide the fact that he actually was sleep deprived. He sniffed and took a seat on one of the speakers without saying "hi" to anyone. 

It wasn't until noon time that they all realized that Zabuza probably wouldn't be arriving at all. 

Asuma was pissed off. Putting out the umpteenth cigar in his ashtray, he stormed out of the studio, saying, "Recording is cancelled! You guys make me sick! And tell Zabuza that if he doesn't get his ass in order, we'll be replacing him for the next concert!" 

Kakashi knew he wasn't being serious, but this was bad. Zabuza? Where the hell was he? 

"So, what happened to you, yesterday?" Kakashi said, trying to strike up a conversation. He was also more than a little curious as to the fate of his dick-girl. 

"I missed all the action," Gaara said. "By the time my turn came around, dick-girl exploded." He scratched his head in frustration. "Can you get me another one?" 

"Sorry, bub," Kakashi answered. "No warranties on that one." 

"Then…can you treat me to coffee? Ino and Sakura took my wallet to go shopping." 

For once, Kakashi wasn't envious of the fact that Gaara had two girls. "Sure," Kakashi said, being the nice guy that he was. 

* * *

Kakashi and Gaara sat at the café downstairs and ordered themselves a quick lunch. That was when Kakashi's cell phone decided to ring. 

"Hello?" Kakashi said, snapping it open. He offered some sugar to Gaara, but Gaara declined. He liked drinking his coffee black and raw. 

"Kakashi?" It was Zabuza. "Is Asuma mad?" 

"Where the hell were you?" Kakashi said, accidentally flipping his fork onto the floor. Beside them, the couple eating inched away. 

"I…can I tell you later? And if Kurenai calls…tell her I crashed at your place." 

"Wait—," 

But Zabuza hung up. Frustrated, Kakashi snapped the phone closed. Sometimes, his best friend was such an idiot. Gaara watched wordlessly as Kakashi wrung his head in his hands. Then he asked the waitress for another fork. The waitress smiled as she handed it to him, but Kakashi didn't notice. Gaara calmly ate his eggs, sunny side-up. 

* * *

Since Kakashi had nothing better to do for the rest of the day, he decided to visit his brother, Iruka, where he worked. Turning his car into one of the parking spaces of the local high school, he waited. 

School was nearly over. Kakashi checked his watch and lit up another cigarette. It had been so long since he went to high school, he didn't even remember. In fact, he didn't even pass. 

When the kids started trickling out, Kakashi decided to stay put in his car. He knew Iruka was always embarrassed when he came up to him in public, but Iruka was just too nice a guy to say anything. That was when Kakashi saw him. 

The boy from yesterday. What was his name? Sasuke? He was chatting with his friends as he walked out of the high school, holding his books and wearing his school uniform. So Sasuke went to the same school that Iruka taught at. Which would mean that he couldn't be more than 16 or 17. Which meant that he either went to Taboo with a fake ID or…something else. Something was really bugging him about that kid, but he wasn't sure what. 

Kakashi was so absorbed in his thoughts that it took him a second to realize that Sasuke was staring right back at him. 

"Shit…." Kakashi quickly looked away, but it was too late. He could hear footsteps crunching on the gravel towards him. 

"Hello, Kakashi," Iruka said, bending his head down and smiling in that kind way that he always does. "What a pleasant surprise." 

"Yes…I got the day off today." Again. 

"Oh. Then, would you like to take a walk in the park with me?" 

"Su…sure," Kakashi said. He just never knew what to utter in front of his brother. Everything he said always came out rude, just because Iruka was just…so…nice. 

Kakashi quickly scanned the crowd of students for Sasuke before getting out. Why should he be afraid of a kid, anyway? Because that kid knew where he lived. And if that kid knew, then it was only a matter of time before everyone else knew and then he would have absolutely no privacy, which is what he dreaded most of all. 

Stepping out into the shadows, he followed Iruka across the schoolyard. Teachers and students waved "hi" to Iruka and Iruka greeted them all back, seeming to remember everyone's names. Iruka was just so likeable. Kakashi just wasn't sure why he was the only one who felt uncomfortable around him. Sometimes, he wondered if they were even related at all. 

They took a seat on several bleachers and watched some kids practice soccer for a minute. Finally, Iruka asked, "How have you been doing, Kakashi?" 

"I've been doing great," Kakashi lied. "Thanks for the fruit," he added as an afterthought. 

"Oh, it was no problem," Iruka replied, looking down. "Why don't you come by for dinner some day?" But both Kakashi and his brother knew that he never would. 

"Sure," Kakashi lied again. He clenched his fist, then unclenched it. Clench. Unclench. 

"I…saw your performance on television the other day," Iruka said, smiling. "You all were very good." 

Kakashi looked up at that comment, and realized that his brother was blushing. "I didn't even know you had that channel," Kakashi admitted. 

"Well, one of the students brought in a portable t.v., and we were all watching it during lunch hour." 

"Was his name Sasuke?" Kakashi suddenly realized. 

Iruka gave him this strange look. "No…. Why?" 

"Nothing," Kakashi said, reaching for his smokes, then restrained himself at the last minute. Iruka didn't mind (at least, he said he didn't), but Iruka's wife didn't like Kakashi very much, and the smell of his smokes on Iruka would be a dead giveaway. 

"Well, there is a Sasuke in my class. Is he a fan of yours?" Iruka asked, smiling. 

"I…I don't know," Kakashi answered truthfully. Kakashi didn't know why, but he just suddenly decided to tell Iruka the whole story of how he found a kid outside his flat named Sasuke and what happened from there. 

He could see Iruka wincing at his behaviour. "Well, that couldn't have been the Sasuke from my class, because Uchiha Sasuke is a well-mannered boy who always stays after school to help me out. He is a very kind child." 

…And that was when Kakashi spotted Sasuke out of the corner of his eye, doing nothing more than spying on them. "That the Sasuke you're talking about?" Kakashi gestured with an arm. 

"Oh, why yes, it is. Sasuke!" Iruka called the kid over and Kakashi looked amused as the kid tripped over his own footsteps to get there. 

"Iruka-sensei," he said, bowing. Then he stared at Kakashi. 

Iruka seemed completely oblivious. "Kakashi, this is Sasuke I was talking about. Sasuke, this is…." Iruka stopped short. 

"I'm Kakashi," Kakashi himself replied, extending a hand. "A friend." He knew his brother was just trying to protect his identity, but Iruka always made it such a big deal that he couldn't introduce his own brother to people he knew. 

Sasuke looked at his proffered hand with all the hardened blisters come from years of guitar playing. Sasuke hesitantly took it in his own, then glanced back at Iruka. 

"Why, Sasuke," Iruka said, finally looking at Sasuke up close. "What happened to your lip?" 

Kakashi would like to know as well. He crossed his arms and stared hardly at the boy, wondering what pathetic excuse he'd come up with. 

"I…fell yesterday," Sasuke said, reaching up to touch his lip. Kakashi scoffed inwardly. 

Just then, Iruka glanced at his watch. "Oh. I forgot I promised the wife that I would baby sit today. Well, take care, Sasuke. And…see you soon Kakashi?" Iruka asked hopefully. 

"Sure," Kakashi lied again. He waved goodbye to his brother and they both watched as Iruka bumbled down the bleachers, highly late. Kakashi tended to do that to people he hung out with. 

"Thanks," Sasuke said, hanging his head low. "For not telling him." 

Kakashi wouldn't be daunted. He got right to the point. "Why were you spying on us?" 

Sasuke looked up. The kid had really nice eyes. But that was besides the point. "He is your brother, right?" 

Kakashi paused. Apart from the fact that he had changed his last name and he and Iruka looked NOTHING alike, he didn't know how in the world this kid would know! "Fine. He is my brother. That still doesn't explain why you were at my place last night." 

Sasuke took himself a seat beside Kakashi. He started playing with the buttons on his shirt. For some reason, Kakashi found himself staring at his lips again. "I first heard about you through my brother, Itachi." 

"Itachi sold himself out," Kakashi said, looking away. This was bringing back painful memories. 

"But…you must have known him before that," Sasuke said hopefully. 

Uchiha Itachi had been a good friend, but also a musical rival. He, Zabuza, and Itachi had good times a long time ago. But Itachi had one flaw: he was addicted to drugs. He supposed that is what did him in in the end. Kakashi hadn't seen him in years. He wasn't even sure if he was still alive. "No…I don't know him that well," he lied. 

Sasuke looked sad. Kakashi had no idea Itachi had a younger brother. He looked so much like him too. He suddenly had the urge to run a hand through Sasuke's messy hair. But, of course, he didn't. "I'm sorry," Kakashi said. 

"No, it's my fault," said Sasuke, sniffing. "I'm sorry for bothering you." 

That just did it for Kakashi. If there's anything that melted his heart at all, it was tears. He sighed. What the hell was he doing? 

"Well, I didn't say I completely didn't know your brother," Kakashi said. "I would like to know his whereabouts as well." Sasuke looked up at him. Kakashi suddenly appeared at a loss for words. "You look so much like him," he finished pathetically. 

"Kakashi…can you take off your mask?" 

Kakashi paused, alarmed. Sasuke took his lack of response for a yes. His slender fingers gently reached to the back of his head where the mask was tied. He could feel the boy ruffle his hair. Kakashi reached his hands back and helped him untie the rest. 

Sasuke stared at him, as if wanting to burn the image of his face into his mind. "You look very beautiful." It was the second time he said that to him since they met. 

Kakashi averted his gaze. He was not used to having his face exposed like this. A slight breeze blowing across his naked face made his lips tremble. 

He could feel the Sasuke boy coming closer, shuffling over on his knees. Something about the way the boy didn't care if he scuffed up his pants sent a twinge to his heart. 

He looked back at the Sasuke boy, lips parted and unsmiling. Black orbs looked back at his cold, grey ones. People always told Kakashi that he never seemed like he was really there. Like no matter how much of their feelings they shared with him, they would never get through. A lot of women had been turned away from him in this way. And here was a young boy who not only had eyes of the deepest depths, but he could see reflected in it pain. His pain. 

Either Kakashi didn't see the warning signs or he let the moment follow where it would. Breath against Sasuke's face, he leaned forward and kissed the boy on the lips, right where the bruise was. He closed his eyes. 

Of all the women he'd been with, he'd never imagined the lips of a youth being this soft. As he continued to kiss gently around the bruised area, he could feel the boy beginning to respond…. 

Kakashi's eyes suddenly flew open at that moment. What was he doing? Heart pounding, he looked for his mask. Then, realizing that it was still in Sasuke's hands, he grabbed it away and put it back on. Then he got up, fumbling down the bleachers just the same way his brother had before. 

"Kakashi?" Sasuke said. 

At the sound of his name, Kakashi paused and slowly looked back. 

"Can I still visit you?" 

Kakashi slowly nodded, then rushed out of there. He wasn't even thinking as he cut across the soccer field, interrupting the game. When he got to his car, he slammed the door and shakily started the ignition. He backed out quickly and drove away. 

He wasn't gay, dammit! But why did he let the boy see his face? Why didn't he stop him? Why did HE initiate the kiss? 

All of these questions were flowing through Kakashi's mind but he didn't have the answer to any of them. Heart still pounding, he was in a complete panic. 

What about all his porn tapes? Didn't that count for something? 

He made a quick swerve and, before he knew it, he had arrived back at his apartment. Reaching his door, he paused. 

Did HE just agree that he would let the boy visit him? To do what? Play guitar? 

He slammed the door behind him and locked it. He was locking it from himself. Then he slid down against the door and raised his head up. He was such a failure. 

* * *

Kakashi awoke from his nap in a gloomy mood. He lay in bed with the blankets up to his chest and stared at the grey ceiling. 

Why had he done it? He only met the boy like, what, less than 24 hours ago? Actually, that timespan, in his world, was more than enough to have kissed a stranger and gone to bed with her. But he…was…a…boy. That is all what it came down to. A male. Besides, the kid was stupid and couldn't even hold his own drink and, what's worse, barfed all over his leather couch. And he was a stalker, yes he was. But wouldn't that make Kakashi a child molester, which was even worse? 

Kakashi attributed his strange behaviour this afternoon to the fact that he was sleep deprived and was a sucker for sap stories, especially from people who were related to people he once knew. He thought he had forgotten about Itachi, but the idiot still haunted him. And now here was his younger brother, Sasuke, who had the indecency to look exactly like him. He attributed the fact that he had been kind to Sasuke last night, only because he reminded him of someone he had forgotten on a subconscious level. Okay, now he was just grabbing at straws. He had completely forgotten about Itachi and only helped the kid because he was gorgeous. And there's just something about weak and helpless things that just turns him on. That seems more likely, considering he would never go out with a woman like Kurenai. But that was because Kurenai was Zabuza's woman. Whatever. 

Someone rang his doorbell and, after half-heartedly fixing up his mussed up hair, he walked over to the door and swung it open. He was almost disappointed to find that it was only Zabuza. 

"Hey, Kakashi. Can I come in? I brought dinner." Zabuza held up some takeout bento boxes. 

Kakashi swung the door wide and let his friend in. He winced as Zabuza trampled in without removing his shoes. Zabuza must have realized this as well because, half a second later, he kicked off his shoes towards the wall. It helped a bit, but now he had a scuffed up wall. Sometimes Kakashi wondered why he even tried. 

Zabuza placed the food on the kitchen table, also white, and started laying out the food neatly and snapping the chopsticks. "I brought your favourite," Zabuza said, holding up a dish. "Squid." 

"Aren't you eating dinner with Kurenai, tonight?" Kakashi asked, taking a seat and quickly snatching his bento box away. Free food was hard to come by. 

Zabuza shook his head and didn't say anything. They ate in silence for a few minutes. 

"Would you like to tell me what happened, last night?" Kakashi started. 

"I was with you, the whole night," Zabuza said, as if trying to drill that fact into Kakashi's head. 

"Yes, but afterwards." 

Zabuza stopped eating and looked down at his hands. "I didn't go home to Kurenai, last night. I…you remember Haku, right?"  
  
Haku…the name sounded vaguely familiar. "Wasn't he a roadie of yours?" 

"Yeah, you remember. The one who had a penchant for cross-dressing." 

"Oh, THAT Haku," Kakashi suddenly realized. Him and Gaara always made fun of him, but the kid was very good at putting on their camera makeup. "What does he have to do with Kurenai?" Kakashi asked, wiping the tears of mirth from his eyes. 

"I…slept with her last night." 

Kakashi continued laughing but it suddenly died down. "Did you just say 'her'?" 

"Yeah. Haku had a sex-change operation last year. You know, he always wanted one. And…and…." Zabuza's face burned red. 

Kakashi's mouth was hanging open. "You had sex with a hermaphrodite?" he asked incredulously. 

"Her. He was a HER!" Zabuza grumbled, putting his head in his hands. 

Kakashi sat quietly, his favourite squid dinner untouched. Was that the person whom Zabuza had been talking to all night at Taboo? It must have been. "What was it like?" he finally asked, curiosity getting the better of him. 

"Well, he had breasts," Zabuza said, wringing his hands. "And his body…was smaller, you know? And…." 

"And?…." Kakashi asked, completely hooked. 

"He had a vagina, Kakashi." 

Kakashi furrowed his brows in thought. "Then how do you know it was even Haku?" 

"I KNOW these things, Kakashi. Trust me." Zabuza looked absolutely miserable. 

Kakashi felt almost sorry for his friend. "Well, if it makes you feel better, I kissed a boy today." 

Zabuza nodded absently. "Yeah. You're always doing crazy things like that, Kakashi," he said quietly. 

What did he mean, he always did things like that? Why did he always have to be seen as the irresponsible one? "Well, at least I didn't cheat on Kurenai," Kakashi said, suddenly getting mad. 

Zabuza looked up, shocked. Then Zabuza's face hardened as well. "You know I love Kurenai. And what about you and Kurenai? I know the way she looks at you, Kakashi. I'm not stupid. Take last night, for instance…." 

Kakashi was shocked. They were going off on a completely different tangent here. 

"You were practically all over her on the dance floor. The way she touches you, the way she laughs. Only an idiot would think that she didn't love you." Zabuza was seething by now. 

Kakashi crossed his arms. "There is nothing going on between me and Kurenai. As a of matter of fact…." Then Kakashi stopped. He promised Kurenai that he wouldn't tell Zabuza anything about her being pregnant. 

"What? What?" 

Kakashi lowered his head. "Nothing." 

This seemed to make Zabuza even more angry. He stood up, snapping his chopsticks in two. "I know there's something going on between you two. And if I ever find out that you did Kurenai any wrong, I swear I'll kill you!" 

Kakashi did not know what to say. He merely stared up at Zabuza silently, wondering when his friend will see reason. 

When the blow came to his face, he completely wasn't expecting it. Kakashi lay on the floor, half-blinded while Zabuza stormed past him and slammed the door. 

Kakashi rolled over on the kitchen tiles. "Shit…." He slowly stood up and grabbed the edge of a kitchen counter. He could already feel his cheek and part of his eye beginning to swell. Dizzy, he sat himself down at the kitchen table. For some reason, a part of him was still happy that Zabuza had left the food at his place. Taking a squid, he ate it tiredly and wondered why everything was happening to him today. Was he really such an irresponsible person? But he really did think that cheating on Kurenai was wrong. Was it because of revenge on Zabuza's part? If that was the case, then it all boiled down to Kakashi being wrong again, and Kakashi was REALLY…TIRED of being wrong. He couldn't even begin to think about how he was going to explain to Asuma and everyone how he got that bruise. But, as Zabuza said, that was just the way he was. And Zabuza knew him the best. 

Frustrated, Kakashi took up his electric guitar and banged out his unspent feelings on it. Next door, his neighbour banged on the wall and told him to shut up. Kakashi played until the pain in his eye was too much, then put an ice pack against his cheek, lay down on the couch, and watched porn flicks until he fell asleep. 

**Credits: top verse from Les Nubians - Insomnie**


	3. Kakashi's New Image

**Hi guys, thanks for reviewing! I really do appreciate any input or criticism that you might have. I wrote this story as a sort of experimental art piece to explore the conflicts and relationships that people can have with one another. It's not about labeling characters or pairing characters with one another, so I'm sorry if I offended anyone. Wow, I'm proud of you for making it this far! I know it's a little long-winded, but I wanted to make it as realistic as possible, and to perhaps analyze our beloved Kakashi to death 9_9 – luv Echidna **

**Mon imagination me torture j'peux pas dormir   
****Ecrire me fait peur, j'peux pas dormir**   
**J'ai besoin de toi près de moi **

**My imagination tortures me, I cannot sleep   
Manifesting my own fears, I cannot sleep   
I need you close to me**

Kakashi drove to the studio in a gloomy mood. He and Zabuza had had fights before, but ever since they formed Insomnie, things had been peaceful. Until now.

Kakashi rubbed absently at the side of his face as he walked down the hall, ignoring the people he usually greeted in the morning. Still rubbing, he entered the soundproof booth. 

They all turned to look at him. "You're late," Asuma said. 

"Hn." All the equipment had already been set up. Ignoring Zabuza, he bent down to pick up his black guitar. 

"With all due respect, you look like shit today." Gaara. 

"Hn." 

"I won't even ask," Asuma said, rolling his eyes. "Well, you know what to do. I'll be in the conference room until you're done." With that, he left. 

Now that all three of them were in privacy, the tension began. 

Zabuza suddenly made a really loud rap on his drum that threw Kakashi off balance. Then Zabuza began practicing, drowning out the sounds of Kakashi's attempt at guitar tuning. Kakashi bent down and turned up the volume of his amplifiers. 

Screeching feedback sent his band mates and the technicians in the other room in ear-splitting hell. "Will you shut that thing off?" Zabuza yelled, pulling the plug on his guitar. 

"Don't you ever…touch…my guitar," Kakashi said dangerously, staring up at his former friend. His face was beginning to hurt. 

Zabuza just looked the bruise on Kakashi's face up and down in the most degrading manner. "What happened to you?" Zabuza scoffed, walking away. "Been bitch-slapped by that little boy of yours?" 

Zabuza was intentionally provoking him. "Well, at least I didn't have sex with a hermaphrodite," Kakashi replied calmly. 

Gaara looked back and forth at them, suddenly interested. "What hermaphrodite?" 

Zabuza gave Kakashi a dark look, dark enough to kill. Kakashi ignored him and continued tuning his guitar. 

They launched into "Black Rain", one of the first songs they ever played together as a band. While Gaara sung the lyrics eerily, Kakashi placed all of his emotion into the riffs. But something was a little off…. 

He looked towards Zabuza. Zabuza was forgetting to do something. Kakashi suddenly stopped playing. Gaara gradually died down and looked at him questioningly. 

"That was supposed to be a three-quarter beat," Kakashi stated, staring down at Zabuza. "You played a three-eighth." 

"Oh, did I?" Zabuza wondered, infuriating Kakashi even more. "And who is the drummer here, Hatake? I have been playing here for fifteen years. I think I would know the difference between a three-quarter and a three-eighth more than you would." Zabuza crossed his arms. 

"Just let it go," Gaara said, touching Kakashi's arm. "We're only practicing anyway." 

Kakashi glared at Zabuza warningly. As the composer to most of their songs, Kakashi expected only perfection from his band mates and they expected no less from him. But that three-eighth was just butchering it. 

They practiced for the rest of the afternoon, not being very productive. Even Gaara noted a lag in their usual practice sessions. 

"I'm going out for a smoke," Gaara said, putting down his bass guitar. "Kakashi?" 

Kakashi nodded and followed Gaara out. Time away from Zabuza at this point would be a blessing. 

* * *

Kakashi and Gaara stood outside the record company offices, taking a much-needed break. 

"So," Gaara said, blowing smoke out his mouth, "what hermaphrodite?" 

Kakashi looked down at Gaara incredulously. "Not you, too." 

"You can trust me," Gaara said, glancing up at him. "If there's anything that's making you guys bitch like school-girls, I think I should know about it." 

Kakashi scratched his head. Sometimes, Gaara was more level-headed than he liked to admit. After having an inner debate with his conscious, he finally spilled the beans on Zabuza's affair with his ex-roadie and Gaara laughed, upon hearing Haku's name again. 

"But don't tell Kurenai," Kakashi said, meaning it. 

Gaara slowly nodded. "And your face?" 

"Long story," Kakashi replied, crushing his cigarette beneath his feet. Talking about it would be too painful. In more than one way. 

Gaara did not pry further and, for that, Kakashi was grateful. "Come to my place after practice, and I'll get you something for that bruise." 

Kakashi was surprised at Gaara for the second time that day. "You mean it?" 

Gaara grinned, which meant that he was smiling evilly. "But you still owe me a dick girl." 

* * *

Six in the evening had Kakashi following Gaara to his apartment. Now that Kakashi and Zabuza were on bad terms, Kakashi found the solace of his other band member oddly comforting. It never occurred to him how responsible Gaara had to be in order to maintain flat rent, food, bills; basically everything a young man living in Tokyo had to manage in order to survive. He also marveled at how Gaara could keep not only one girl happy, but two. Kakashi scratched his head and wondered if that was also the reason why he was willfully following Gaara to his place. 

Sakura opened the door before Gaara even dug out his keys. "Gaara!" she said, pouncing on him. She was wearing…a black playboy cat outfit. "Oh, Kakashi!" she said, blushing. "I didn't know you'd be here too." 

"He's here to fix up his face," Gaara said, walking inside. Sakura took one of Kakashi's hands in both of hers and walked backwards, dragging him inside. 

"Are you sure I'm not intruding on anything?" Kakashi said, looking at Sakura's body suit significantly. 

"Hmph," Gaara said, casually walking down the hall. "They do this all the time." 

That was when Ino walked past dressed as a Gothic Lolita. Her cleavage busted out of the little maid's outfit and she held a silver tray containing several condiments. "Tart?" she asked, offering her platter to Kakashi. 

"Ah, no thanks," Kakashi replied, blushing like a school boy. Ino turned her head and continued walking down the hall mechanically. 

"Ino and Sakura will fix you up," Gaara said, stretching and cracking a few bones. "I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up when we go out." He entered his, Ino, and Sakura's shared bedroom and shut the door behind him. 

"Our poor Gaara. He must be so tired," Ino said, eating one of her tarts. 

"We must have kept him up too late," whispered Sakura, glancing at the doorway. Then they both turned and stared at Kakashi. 

"What?" said Kakashi, getting nervous. 

Pushing him down on the couch, they started.

* * *

"You know, I was always partial to pink," Sakura said, painting his nails. She held up his hand. "What do you think?" 

"Make it black," Ino ordered, legs on either side of Kakashi and powdering up his face. Her breasts were almost rubbing against his face and he averted his gaze upward, being the gentleman that he was. 

Fixing up his bruise involved a spa treatment with scented oils and various fruit slices while Kakashi lay back on the couch with his feet propped on the coffee table. He had no idea what Sakura and Ino were doing to him, but decided it was best not to displease the two cats, since he saw Sakura playing with a real live whip just an hour ago. Once in a while, Sakura or Ino would feed him a grape to satiate his hunger. Once, juice from a grape accidentally ran down his chin and Sakura casually LICKED it off. All in all it was a very…pleasant evening. 

"You have nice skin," Ino said absently, touching up his face with what looked like a black eye pencil. "This will go well with your mask." 

Sakura knelt on his left and started applying gel to flatten his wild hair. She styled it so that it fell dramatically to one side, revealing his red eye. 

Ino sat facing him on his lap and looked at her and Sakura's handiwork. "Perfect," she whispered. 

"Can I…look at myself in the mirror?" Kakashi asked, slightly worried. 

Ino and Sakura each took one of Kakashi's hands and led him to the bathroom. 

Kakashi stared at his new image in the mirror. He blinked and the man in the mirror blinked back. Was that really him? 

"Do you like it? Do you like it?" Sakura said, grabbing him about the waist and swinging herself around. 

"It's…actually okay," Kakashi replied, experimentally glaring. The man glaring back at him looked like an SM lover and the eye shadow and bangs made him look…very mysterious. He grinned, but he wasn't sure if Ino or Sakura saw. 

"Okay, let's wake Gaara up and we'll go out and have fun!" Sakura said, pouncing out of the room. 

Ino crossed her arms beside him and they looked at each other's reflections. Then she reached up, adjusted his tie so that it hung messily and loosely about his neck and stood back. She nodded. 

Well…at least the bruise was gone. That was when Gaara entered, still rubbing his eyes. He stopped and appraised Kakashi's new look critically. "Damn, you make me wish I was gay." Then he walked out and, behind him, Sakura winked. 

"It means he approves," Ino said mysteriously, hooking her arm through Kakashi's and leading him out. For a second, Kakashi's heart nearly stopped. Not Gaara, too! 

* * *

It was time to experiment on his new look. Walking outside, they went to the nearest noodle restaurant. All four of them sat, starving individuals with the look of jadedness in their eyes. 

Kakashi was surprised to see that Sakura and Ino both went out in their cat and maid outfits. Then it just occurred to Kakashi that he himself probably looked the freakiest out of the bunch. Furtive glances and curiously shy stares made Kakashi second-guess on his new image. 

"You'll get used to it," Ino said quietly from beside him, slurping on her noodles. The image of Gothic Ino eating noodles seemed to him strange. Kakashi nodded, trying to blend in. These kids were way ahead of their times. Or maybe he was just getting old. Convinced that he would not be left behind, he continued acting like himself, and slowly relaxed and became more comfortable. He was still Kakashi, no matter what anyone said. 

They went out into the bustling night streets, Gaara and Sakura hooking arms in front with Kakashi and Ino following obediently behind. Ino treated him almost like a toy, making sure he didn't mess up his hair or accidentally smudge his makeup. She marched proudly with her new creation beside her, and Kakashi kept his hands in his pockets – the only safe place he could put them, it seemed. The streets they entered appeared to be getting darker and stranger. 

Kakashi and Ino were quiet as they walked side-by-side behind Gaara and his escort. Getting uncomfortable, Kakashi decided to strike a conversation. "So," he said, gesturing in front of him. "How did you all meet?" 

Ino stared at him, as if the thought never occurred to her before. "We're all high school friends," she said finally, blowing the bangs out of her white face. "Me and Sakura were best friends before that. Gaara took us both in, because Sakura and I vowed that we would do everything together." She glanced up at Kakashi's confused face. "It's a girl thing." 

"Ah, I see…" Kakashi said, even though he didn't see at all. "Then…don't you ever get jealous of each other?" 

Ino thought about that. "Sakura and I play different roles. Sakura is the little sister while I am the big sister. I don't mind being the big sister. I like being in charge. As long as we don't impede on each other's roles, it is fine." She gazed wistfully at Gaara and Sakura laughing ahead. Kakashi suddenly felt that he was imposing on her personal territory. Just as quickly, the look on Ino's face was gone and she held Kakashi firmer, making sure that her creation stayed on a short leash. Ino suddenly felt very small and petite beside him. Her maid outfit only compounded that fact. 

They walked up a narrow flight of cobbled stairs, and that was when the alleyway suddenly transformed into a world of neon lights, bustling individuals, and outdoor marketplaces. Except it wasn't a market for the conventional, Japanese citizen. This was a place where Gaara, Ino, and Sakura called home. 

It was a marketplace for fetishes. A place where people fulfill their every sexual fantasy, alone or otherwise, a place of meeting, of putting yourself on vulgar display, or of hooking up with an unlikely stranger without leaving ties the next morning. To put it bluntly – an SM paradise. 

It was just then that Kakashi realized that he looked normal compared to these special denizens of the night. Kakashi saw body parts that were pierced in places that he thought humanly impossible, pieces of pale flesh peeping lewdly from strips of torn fabric, torturous bodily contraptions that fulfilled the masochist's every want and desire, and etcetera. It was an endless possibility. Were these the types of people that listened to the music of Insomnie? 

A guy walked by on all fours, kept on a leash by a haughty woman. The guy sniffed at Kakashi's pant leg but the woman immediately cinched up the leash, strangling the man. The man seemed to like it though, and started panting in unforeseeable pleasure. Ino held a hand to her lips contemplatively. 

"I think I'm going to get a tattoo," Gaara said, eyeing the tattoo counter. 

"Really, Gaara? Where are you going to get it?" Sakura asked, gazing at Gaara like he was her hero. 

"On my forehead." 

Kakashi's eyes widened. "That's a little a sudden. Have you thought about it?" 

Gaara nodded. "Just now." And, before anyone could say anything, he was off to the tattoo counter, Sakura following uselessly behind. 

"I wonder what he's going to get?" Kakashi surmised. 

"Knowing Gaara, probably something red," Ino replied, not overly concerned. "Come, let's go this way," she said, leading her Kakashi-doll. Kakashi followed obediently behind, not wanting to get lost. They delved deeper into the black mob. 

They passed a stall selling love potions and poisons ("Torture the one you love!" the proprietor shouted, "Be a slave to the one you hate!"), another selling bedroom clothing consisting of leather undergarments with strategic zippers (Kakashi contemplated a male underwear with a VERY interesting shape), and generally passed stalls selling nipple rings, penile foreskin rings, or whichever location happened to be popular or erotic at the moment. It was to one of these stalls that Ino decided to stop, looking several rings and spikes over up and down. 

"Thinking of getting one?" Kakashi asked, looking at Ino's ears, which she had already pierced top and bottom with rings and adornments. Unless, of course, there was another location that he was missing…. 

"Yes. For you." Finally deciding on a mock diamond stud, the woman doing the piercings (she had a ring right through the central cartilaginous regions of her nose) told him to have a seat on a dirty stool. 

Kakashi stepped back, but Ino held a long-fingernailed hand to his neck and started tickling his jugular vein as it throbbed, rapidly, within the confines of her grip. "Are you scared, Kakashi?" she asked, voice as frigid as ice. 

It's not that he was scared. It's just that he didn't like rushing into permanent bodily mutations that could potentially ruin his reputation. "Ah, no." 

Still leading Kakashi by the neck, Ino made him slowly sit on the stool while the woman began sterilizing her equipment. "Where do you want it?" she asked. 

Kakashi did not "want" anything. He was about to say so but Ino came up behind him and smooshed her breasts against his neck so that it felt like he was lying on a soft cushion. "You've trusted me up to this far," Ino said to him, her breath making his bangs tickle against his forehead. "Can you do this just once, for me? You just wouldn't be complete without it." 

Kakashi felt hypnotized against Ino's soft voice (or maybe it was just her boobs pressing into the back of his neck) but Kakashi closed his eyes, his cautious signal of agreement. 

"We'll do the ears," Ino said, military-like. "Left side." 

"Wait—," Kakashi said. Didn't the left side mean you were gay? Or was it the right side? 

"Why don't you just do both ears," the propriertor said, smirking at the look on Kakashi's face. And, while Ino held his head down, the piercing specialist punctured Kakashi's virgin ears with the accursed diamond studs. Through his mask, Kakashi gritted his teeth. 

* * *

Though the pain of the piercing was only temporary, his ears were beginning to throb now. Both sides. Ino looked happy as she dragged Kakashi through the street in search of her beloved Gaara. 

They caught Gaara at a particularly dark booth drinking blood. At the sound of Ino's voice, Gaara whirled around, a bloody moustache adorning his upper lip. A large, red tattoo of the word "love" was plastered on the left side of his forehead. Overall, the effect made him look just a little crazed. 

"I love it," Ino said, kissing his forehead. Gaara grinned, revealing bloody gums and teeth stained with red. 

Kakashi unconsciously reached up and touched his studs while Sakura gasped, hands on her cheeks. "They are SO you. I love it!" Ino smiled at Kakashi secretly, in a "I told you so" manner. Gaara smiled at him as well, although what his smile exactly meant at that moment could have been put up for interpretation. 

Kakashi cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Let's go," he said, marching out with hands in his pockets while Gaara and his girls followed behind, laughing. If he lingered much longer in this place, he was afraid of what he would do to himself next. 

* * *

Gaara wouldn't let him go until he had pilfered the money out of Kakashi's pockets for another dick-girl. Wallet empty, Kakashi trudged home, feeling as if he was undergoing withdrawal from the toxic high that Gaara and his girls had granted him this sultry night. 

He almost missed the figure standing by his doorstep as he dug in his pockets for his keys. Maybe it was his new hairstyle that blocked his vision. Or something. Either way, it wasn't until he had put one foot through the door that the person called out to him. "Kakashi." 

Kakashi turned slowly, expecting to find someone in his line of vision, then slowly looked down. It was Sasuke. 

Kakashi immediately panicked and blinked several times. What was Sasuke doing here? 

"You said I could visit," Sasuke said, looking down uneasily and shuffling his feet. He was still in his summer schoolboy uniform and his white ankle socks in his standard school shoes had a little dirt on them. "I…wasn't sure when you'd be home…so…." 

Did Sasuke really wait for him here all day? As an adult, Kakashi felt a little embarrassed that he hadn't left the kid a clearer note earlier, but he had just been so panicked about…yesterday…that he didn't have time to plan anything. 

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said, wondering why he said so, but it was worth it because Sasuke immediately looked up again and smiled cautiously, shyly, at him. 

"Why don't you come in," Kakashi said, having a lack of anything better to say and feeling highly obligated right now. 

Sasuke nodded and stepped in front of Kakashi while Kakashi followed after, closing the door behind him. 

They were alone together in the dark hallway. Sasuke was just standing in front of him, facing him. Kakashi wondered what he was supposed to do next. 

"The lights," Sasuke said, pointing upwards. 

Of course! The lights…the lights…. Kakashi fumbled around in the dark for a bit, temporarily forgetting where the light switch was, since he hardly used it. He ended up crashing into his shoe stand before finally pounding on the light switch beside the door. 

The lights came on painfully and Kakashi squinted and covered his eye, a fallen victim among the shoe stands and the dark outline of Sasuke simply staring down at him. Sasuke stepped forward and turned off the lights again. 

"I'm sorry," Sasuke said, bending down over him. "I never realized you were…sensitive to light." 

Sasuke was standing a little too close for comfort. "I'm okay," Kakashi said, trying to scrabble up. Sasuke stepped backwards, giving him room. "Um…you go on ahead and have a seat on the couch. I'll grab you something to eat." Sasuke nodded obediently and made his way carefully down the rest of the hallway to the living room and Kakashi sighed in relief. Interacting with Sasuke was almost like…taking care of a baby. The baby would follow him wherever with those googly eyes of his, while he had to tell it to do this and that…. Not that he'd ever interacted with a baby before, but this is what he imagined child sitting to be like. With that thought in mind, Kakashi rapidly peeled some fresh fruit in the dark, poured two cups of boiling tea, and brought everything out on a small tray. Not bad for an improv. 

When he stepped out to his living room, Sasuke was kneeling in front of his t.v., examining his stacks of porn tapes. Oh, he had completely forgotten. "Fruit!" Kakashi said, placing the tray on the very edge of the coffee table, farthest from the porn tapes. Sasuke looked up from his shout, embarrassingly placed said porn tape back down (it was one Kakashi still had in the VCR) and crawled over, beckoned by the enticing orange slices. Kakashi nodded approvingly, and almost wanted to pat the boy's head, but he didn't and, instead, took a cup of tea and tried to sit back as royally as possible, trying to distract the boy into thinking a stately man like him would never watch something as dirty as that…even though he clearly lived alone. He kicked some dirty magazines under his couch. 

Sasuke knelt on the carpet in front of him, drinking his tea. Kakashi pretended not to notice that Sasuke was examining his new hair and overall new look. When he finally looked Sasuke's way, Sasuke looked back down and continued eating his orange slices. For some reason, he was itching to know what Sasuke thought – that is, being the first outsider to see his look – but settled to thinking that if Sasuke didn't say anything, then that was a good thing. 

"Did you just get them pierced today?" Sasuke asked, honing in right on the target. Sasuke seemed to have this unnerving ability to deduce the unspoken. 

"Yes," Kakashi said, tilting his head and reaching up to scratch the earlobe. "Is it awful?" Kakashi asked with earnest. 

Sasuke rapidly shook his head, as if Kakashi was accusing him of something. "I like it," Sasuke said. "I like all of it." 

Oh, no. This was not a good sign. Clearing his throat loudly, Kakashi crossed his legs and resumed drinking his tea. "So, tell me about yourself," Kakashi said, trying to veer the conversation topic away from himself. 

"Well…as you've already guessed, I'm in Iruka-sensei's class. I'm sixteen this year. I, uh, really love your music. Listening to it always brightens up my day." Sasuke smiled. Kakashi realized that he still didn't know anything at all about this kid. General fodder. 

"How did you know we were brothers?" 

"Well, I…overhead Iruka talking to you on the phone one day. Then he brought this basket of fruit to class and he said he was bringing it to his brother, so I put two and two together and followed…Iruka-sensei to your place." 

"In the hopes that I would know where your brother, Itachi, is?" 

"Yes. Something like that." Sasuke gazed up at him, as if wondering if Kakashi would believe his story. 

Kakashi looked away and tried to think. It all seemed too…implausible. Sure, searching out Kakashi would be a good way to perhaps discover the whereabouts about your brother, but it all seemed so…random. There were better ways to go about doing these things. This kind of search and interrogate seemed more like the stuff from old detective movies. So why was Sasuke here? 

Sasuke had finished all the orange slices and now he stepped over Kakashi's leg and sat beside him, looking down at his dark shorts. Kakashi looked over and realized how tiny and skinny the kid actually was. Had Kakashi really been like that, once? No way…. 

Sasuke was fiddling with his fingers and Kakashi suddenly realized how nervous the kid actually was. His hands were actually trembling and Kakashi placed his cup of tea down. "What is the matter?" he asked softly. 

Kakashi could see the kid trying to form words from his mouth but nothing came through. He could faintly see the bruised lip in the dark and this brought back heady moments of yesterday on a school bleacher on a sunny afternoon. The moment of realization hit him. 

"I feel so dirty for doing this," Sasuke said, and Kakashi suddenly spotted a side of the kid that he had never seen before. "But is it really wrong to love someone who brings a touch of hope to every day?" 

Something was going on with this kid. He could see the pain and hope in this kid's eyes battling for domination in its swirly depths. Something…or someone…was severely hurting this kid (the bruise accounted for that fact, he was sure of it), but he also got the feeling that it was the choice of Sasuke, as well. But no one, no one, would want to get hurt like this. This Kakashi knew for a fact. 

"Who's hurting you?" Kakashi asked, brows furrowing. Sasuke wasn't the only one who could deduce the unspoken. Sasuke's eyes widened, then he looked down. He was looking down at the hand that was resting on his thigh. 

Kakashi realized that, in his passion, he had inadvertently drew closer to the kid. He was about to draw his hand away when Sasuke rested his own small hand on his own and started exploring the veins and roughs and eddies of the back of Kakashi's hand. Kakashi's hand, on Sasuke's bare thigh, could not move. 

Sasuke's lips were parted as he started singing the words mutely of an unknown nursery song. His finger swirled across Kakashi's hand in a whirlpool shape where it suddenly swung up on its path, above the sleeve of the suit…Sasuke grabbed his bicep and swung himself upwards (no, no…) and Kakashi realized that his hand was now in the boy's erogenous regions. Kakashi chose to curl his fingers to draw his hand away but that just made him accidentally brush his balls, something…and Sasuke shoved himself down, on Kakashi's hand. 

"Please…take me," Sasuke whispered, high-pitched. Sasuke was gripping his shoulder now and Kakashi was alarmed at the sudden turn in events. Sasuke started unbuttoning the fly of his shorts with his other hand. No, this was wrong, wrong…. 

Kakashi looked down at the kid's erection that was surely but steadily pointed straight at him. The tip was already moistened with pre-ejaculate. For some reason, seeing Sasuke's desire appeared to spur him on (it was something he always saw on his porn tapes but this was real life and Sasuke was waiting for him to do something, anything!). Kakashi's hand was about to reach up…then he stopped. He wasn't gay. 

The boy was tearing now. Frustrated (his balls must be aching), he grabbed Kakashi and made him touch it, and Sasuke gasped. 

Kakashi held Sasuke's manhood incredulously and the kid seemed to be gaining pleasure from it. It was just like masturbation, Kakashi told himself. Except it wasn't on himself. Wanting to give the kid pleasure despite himself, Kakashi started slowly rubbing, in a way that he thought he himself would like. Sasuke moved up and down against his hand and, all too soon, the familiar spurt of semen from total and complete pleasure burst upwards…and onto Kakashi's shirt. Sasuke leaned forward and hugged Kakashi, arms exhausted over his shoulders while Kakashi still held his dick, contemplating. "I love you," Sasuke whispered into his shoulder. 

Did this constitute love? Kakashi wondered. Sasuke looked really, really happy and Kakashi bent down to kiss the kid's neck through the mask…and realized that Sasuke had another (this one, severely) ravaged mark on his neck, one with red welts that could only have appeared from repeated biting. It was like a hickey on overkill. Kakashi paused and Sasuke slowly reached up to cover the horrible mark. He slipped himself out of Kakashi's grasp and huddled himself into a ball on the opposite side of the couch. What was going on? 

Kakashi reached out to try to touch the boy, but Sasuke flinched violently, almost as if he was having a spasm. Kakashi withdrew his hand. Sasuke was crying. "Why…why does he have to bother me?" he said quietly. 

"Who…who's bothering you?" The guy (guy!) whom Sasuke was referring to was probably the same abuser who gave him that bruised lip. "Have you…been raped?" Kakashi found the question highly odd, but he supposed it could happen, seeing that the boy was so innocent…or not. 

Sasuke looked so exhausted, lying there. He appeared to be staring off into space, seeing images that Kakashi would never see. He really was the most pitiful person he had ever met. Digging his hands beneath Sasuke's back, Kakashi braced himself and lifted the prone Sasuke up (he was a lot lighter than he thought he'd be) and carried him over to his bedroom. Kicking some of the bed sheets aside, he laid Sasuke on one of his pillows and carefully pulled the sheets over his shoulders. Sasuke was holding himself now, shivering, although it was clearly quite warm in the room. 

Kakashi stood beside the bed, wondering what he should do. This boy was very confusing. First, he was all over him on the couch, and now he was withdrawing into his little shell, refusing to be touched. Kakashi entered his bathroom where he decided to…wash his hands. As he washed his hands, soap running through his fingers, he thought about what he had done this night, the feel of the boy's dick through his fingers. He just realized how much trust the kid placed in him in that moment. Kakashi could have crushed him, so easily. His fingers stiffened, cold water running across his hands, and he quickly turned off the tap and dried them. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. 

He really did look like he needed more sleep. He still saw a stranger when he looked in the mirror. This wasn't him. What was he thinking, getting a makeover like this? Iruka was always complaining that he did rash things. He supposed he could add this to his other list of rash actions that he had accumulated, including…. Kakashi turned back and inspected the sleeping boy, then slowly turned back. At the end of the day, he always ended up doing things he regretted. 

He splashed some water on his face, trying to get the makeup off. Wash as hard as he might, however, he just…couldn't remove it. Kakashi looked at his reflection, which was now a runny mess of smudged eyeliner. Grabbing a towel, he dried some of his face. How did Ino take this stuff off? His memory tried to go back to the times when the makeup artists were applying cosmetics and what they had done to his face afterwards. They used a special chemical…but Kakashi had no way of attaining that now in the middle of the night. Throwing the towel down on the floor, he fell back and sat on the floor of his washroom. He really needed a smoke right about now to calm his nerves. Tomorrow…tomorrow could wait. Struggling up, he changed into his pajamas and veered over to his living where he would be spending the rest of the night. He could hear Sasuke mumbling in his sleep on his bed, tossing and turning. 

Kakashi lay on the couch and stared at his reflection in the television screen. He did that for much of the night, until sleep claimed him right into the early hours before dawn. 

**Credits: Top verse by Les Nubians - Insomnie**


	4. Sasuke

**Je t'aime  
Reste contre moi  
****Dans la chaleur de mes bras   
De ces mots qui se disent tout bas **

**I love you   
Stay with me   
In the warmth of my arms   
****From these words that we whisper**

Kakashi awoke the next morning to the sound of someone ringing on his doorbell. Rolling slowly off the couch and making his unhurried way to the door, he wondered who would wake him up so early – Kakashi glanced at his watch: 11 a.m. – in the morning.

Standing on the stoop was Gaara. He was crossing his arms and looking up at him in a stately way, his new tattoo gleaming in the morning light. "Yes?" Kakashi asked, slightly annoyed.

Gaara blinked, unwavering. "We're meeting at your place today."

Kakashi, stone-faced, stared at the wall behind Gaara's head for a second, thinking. Band meeting at his place meant it was Friday, which meant…. Kakashi's foot accidentally brushed against a pair of brown school shoes just inside the doorway. He looked down. Gaara's eyes followed his gaze.

Damn! "I'll be right back," Kakashi said hurriedly, slamming the door in Gaara's face. Slipping out of there and speed-diving to his room, he found Sasuke still peacefully asleep in his bed, unaware of any of the goings-on outside. Sasuke had ended up hugging one of his pillows, and the blanket was half sprawled out on the floor. He had to somehow…get Sasuke out of there in the space of two minutes, because that was how long he knew Gaara's patience to be.

Someone started knocking loudly on the door, probably Zabuza. Ignoring Zabuza's incessant knocking, Kakashi tried to think of a plan. But they all somehow involved throwing Sasuke out of the fifth floor window, and he didn't want to be charged for both child murdering and molesting just yet. Taking the blanket, he flung it over Sasuke, just as Zabuza barged in through the front. Then he closed the door to his room and looked up calmly as Zabuza stood in the living room, fuming. He had an even shorter fuse than Gaara. Gaara calmly walked in behind him and poured himself a glass of juice from the fridge. "What happened to your ears?" was the first thing that Zabuza said.

"I got them pierced," Kakashi said, hoping that Sasuke wouldn't wake up…yet.

Zabuza looked at his studs suspiciously. Both Kakashi and Zabuza came from an older generation of rock music lovers in which bodily piercing was practically unheard of. Under Zabuza's scrutiny, Kakashi realized how alien these blazing diamonds must look to Zabuza. He suddenly felt almost ashamed of wearing them. But what did Zabuza's opinion matter now?

Zabuza did not say anything and merely sat down at his kitchen table. Kakashi could have handled a scolding, anything, but not this uncaring response. It was almost as if Zabuza was giving up on him, writing him off as a lost cause. No different from anyone else. Fights were easy to overcome, but the aftermath was always what bit it. Kakashi silently went over to his fridge and accumulated bits and pieces of leftovers and, without offering anyone any, ate them for breakfast. Lunch. Brunch.

"We haven't all day, you know," Zabuza said, crossing his arms. Kakashi ignored him and continued eating in a stately way while Gaara examined his porn tapes. They didn't start discussing music composition until noon.

Leaving one of Kakashi's porn tapes on, they sat around the coffee table, examining some of the lyrics that Kakashi wrote last week for a song he was working on. Kakashi knew he had fallen greatly behind this week, so he was up for any opinions.

"Actually, you know. We could open like this…" Gaara said as he played several experimental tunes on his bass guitar.

Kakashi quietly strummed absently, mind not really there. He was watching his bedroom door, inspecting it for any signs of life. He thought he heard the tap running.

As if to confirm his opinion, Zabuza perked up. Just then, an exceptionally luscious and juicy portion of his porn tape came on and they could all hear the actress' voice screaming in ecstasy. Zabuza inadvertently looked at the screen and Kakashi sighed, relieved.

They all heard a loud thump coming from Kakashi's bedroom. "Is someone there?" Zabuza asked. "A woman?"

If Gaara chose to comment on that statement, he didn't. "No," Kakashi said. Technically, he wasn't lying.

Sasuke ruined it by coming out of the bedroom at that exact time. All three of them turned to stare at him, including Kakashi.

Sasuke was wearing his school uniform from yesterday and he was trying to put on his socks. All three of them watched Sasuke's theatrics until he finally realized that he wasn't alone in the room. Sasuke looked just as bewildered as Kakashi.

"Explain," Zabuza said to Kakashi, slapping his head. Gaara was still giving Sasuke the once-over and the two boys inspected each other as if wondering how each could have been related to Kakashi.

"A friend," Kakashi said. He winced, the words sounding lame even to his own ears.

"Are you Insomnie?" Sasuke asked, eyes widening in recognition. Gaara nodded. Sasuke smiled. He looked very young when he did so, and Kakashi suddenly realized how pretty the boy looked in the morning sunlight. Under Zabuza's scrutiny, Sasuke slowly shuffled away sideways and towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Kakashi asked gently.

"S-school," Sasuke said. "I'm late." Slipping on his shoes, he let himself out the door.

Zabuza finally turned to Kakashi. "Well?" he asked.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to drive him to school? It's a long way off."

Kakashi looked at his friend, and realized he was smiling. Kakashi looked back and forth between his band mates, before getting up and running through the door, grabbing a couple of snacks along the way.

* * *

Sasuke sat beside Kakashi in his convertible, munching on some of the snacks that Kakashi gave him. Kakashi suddenly realized that the kid probably hadn't eaten breakfast this morning. Or last night's dinner, for that matter, if he had, indeed waited for Kakashi outside his stoop all night. Feeling incredibly guilty, Kakashi speed-drove to the high school he knew so well, even though Sasuke was horrendously late anyway. He screeched to a halt in front of the gate, creating a large cloud of dust.

"Thank you," Sasuke said.

"You'd better hurry, or else Iruka would get mad." Actually, he knew that Iruka probably wouldn't. But he said it anyway, feeling particularly paternal this morning. Afternoon.

"I mean…thank you for last night," Sasuke said, hopping out of the car. He gazed at Kakashi shyly and Kakashi suddenly remembered their moment yesterday, and everything they had been through.

"I'll…pick you up at three?" Kakashi asked.

At Sasuke's widened gaze, Kakashi winked and backed out of the school lot. He drove back to his flat. He would have a lot of explaining to do later.

* * *

At 4 p.m., Kakashi drove back to the high school in a good mood. After surviving Zabuza's incessant teasing and Gaara's uninterpretable stony gaze, Zabuza had somehow found it in his heart to forgive him in the space of that afternoon. He never realized how deprived he had been until Zabuza slapped him on the back and supported him in his usual brotherly fashion. And now he was picking up Sasuke after school. It didn't matter that he was highly late, because he was in a good mood.

His good mood lasted up until the part when he turned in front of the gates and saw Sasuke…standing with Iruka. Iruka had his hands on his hips and he did not look pleased.

Killing the engine, Kakashi got out. "Iruka, what—,"

"What are you doing, Kakashi?" Iruka hissed, cornering Kakashi against the trunk of a tree.

"I don't understand what you're saying," Kakashi said. He glanced at Sasuke, who had fearfully clung onto the car's side-view mirror, watching the brothers fight.

"To Sasuke! First, the boy comes to class in a tardy condition and late, and I see him coming out of YOUR car through the window! What are you doing with him?"

"I…just drove him to school," Kakashi answered. He had never seen his brother as angry as this. "He just stayed over at my place…." Oops. Wrong answer.

"He…slept over?" Iruka's voice was rising. Iruka was a very traditional family man. The concept of two males in a special sort of relationship could not be formulated in his mind. "He just…slept over?"

Kakashi tried to defend himself. "Yes," he said, standing tall. "Is there a problem with that?"

Iruka turned. "Sasuke," he asked kindly. "Is what Kakashi saying all true?"

Sasuke slowly nodded. "Kakashi…is very kind to me. He takes care of me well." Sasuke looked away, afraid of what Kakashi would say. Kakashi did not say anything.

Iruka held his head, getting one of his headaches. "I still can't believe you're doing this to my student, Kakashi. I'm very disappointed in you."

When has Iruka not been disappointed in him? Even though Iruka never said so before, hearing that fact verbally, now, hurt him more than anything. Iruka had probably been hiding his disappointment in Kakashi for a very long time, but never had the guts to say it. Kakashi felt played and betrayed.

"Come on, Sasuke," Kakashi said curtly. "We're leaving."

"Sasuke?" Iruka asked, hopefully. "You wouldn't really leave, would you?"

Sasuke stared back and forth between the brothers for a moment, torn. On the one hand was his teacher whom he considered almost a father to him and who'd taken care of him and knows him the best. On the other hand was Kakashi, the one man he loved, whom he'd only really gotten to know just a day ago. It really wasn't much of a decision. Kakashi got into his car in defeat, glaring at his brother the entire time. He was about to back out when a hand grabbed the passenger side and opened the door.

It was Sasuke. "Kakashi?" he said. "I'm coming with you."

Then, surprising everyone, Sasuke hopped into the car. Without wasting a moment, Kakashi backed out, leaving a cloud of dust in Iruka's wake. He drove off. He thought he heard Iruka shout, "Take care of him!" but he wasn't sure. At this point, he didn't really care, as long as Sasuke was with him. He looked over at Sasuke and Sasuke was smiling happily, clothes still scruffy. Kakashi shook his head. Nothing anyone said mattered now.

* * *

Sasuke was an orphan. Had been for years. He lived in a tiny house by himself and relied off the kindness of neighbours and the temple, which was incidentally how he met Iruka. Both his parents had committed suicide due to some financial crisis, shortly after the disappearance of Itachi. So Sasuke was left with nothing. Kakashi discovered all of this as he treated Sasuke to ice cream at a nearby parlour. They sat on two candy-cane striped stools on this sunny day.

"So that is why you want to find Itachi," Kakashi said, eating neatly from his green tea ice cream cup.

Sasuke nodded after licking some of the ice cream off his fingers from his double scoop fudge cone. "He's the only family I have, and I really want to see him." Sasuke was getting chocolate all over his face and Kakashi smiled inwardly. Everything this kid did was cute. "I already have some idea of where he might be."

"Oh, do you now?" Kakashi said, raising a brow.

Sasuke nodded again and looked down and away. Kakashi long recognized this as a cue that Sasuke did not want to talk.

They ate in silence for a few more minutes. Kakashi made Sasuke wipe up his face when Kurenai called.

"Kakashi?" she said over his cell phone. "Are you busy right now?" She sounded really anxious.

Kakashi watched as Sasuke unsuccessfully wiped the chocolate off, missing a dozen different spots. "Ah, no. What's up?"

"I…I think Zabuza may be cheating on me." On the other end, Kakashi could hear Kurenai breaking down into tears.

"What makes you say that?" Kakashi said, trying to sound the innocent friend.

"I…I can't say right now. Can I meet you up somewhere? In person? I just don't know who to turn to."

Sasuke had finished wiping and now had taken to swinging his legs on the stool. "Hold, on." Kakashi cupped the phone. "Sasuke? Do you have anywhere to go right now?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes up to the air, thinking. "Well, I did promise Naruto and the other boys that I'd play soccer with them."

"And where is that?"

"Just that park over there," Sasuke said, pointing off in a general direction.

"Okay." Kakashi uncovered the phone and gave Kurenai the coordinates. Then they hung up.

"Let's go," Sasuke said, hopping off the stool. Kakashi placed a hand on his shoulder, grabbed a moist towelette, and started wiping off the rest of Sasuke's face. Sasuke looked too shocked to move. Kakashi held his hand under Sasuke's chin, feeling the smoothness of the boy's cheeks as he wiped. Sasuke probably never had anyone take care of him like this. He smiled fondly. Well, he had plenty of time to learn.

Sasuke ran on ahead, beckoning Kakashi while Kakashi walked to the park at his general, slow pace, hands in his pockets. He was enjoying this afternoon tremendously.

* * *

Kurenai arrived half an hour later. Kakashi sat on a bench facing a wide soccer field, watching Sasuke play. Kurenai touched him on the shoulder and he looked up, then immediately went over to her.

Kurenai looked like a mess. Her eyes were puffy from crying or lack of sleep and some of her makeup had smudged, giving her a smoky eye look. She was still sniffing as Kakashi stepped forward and gave her a hug. He patted Kurenai on the back of the head.

"Oh, Kakashi. I can't believe he would do something like that." She shook her head.

"Come, come. Have a seat," Kakashi said gently, leading Kurenai over to the bench. Far off, he could see Sasuke looking at them curiously, but he continued to play.

"So, what happened?" Kakashi said, even though he knew very well what happened.

"I always knew something was up from the night I came home from Taboo. I don't know if you knew, but Zabuza never returned to my place that night." She started crying again and Kakashi looked on helplessly, not knowing how he should comfort her.

"How do you know he might have cheated?" Kakashi asked, trying to keep the conversation going.

"I just know," Kurenai said, nasally, blowing her nose. "Call it a sixth sense, but women just know these things, Kakashi. They just do." Kakashi added that to his list of Womanly Things That He Would Never Understand, including Ino and Sakura's penchant for doing EVERYTHING together. Kakashi scratched his head. Thank god Sasuke wasn't a woman. He was still missing some womanly attributes, though, Kakashi thought in regret. "And I have a feeling I know who it is."

Kakashi was surprised. "You do?" This womanly sixth sense was a very dangerous tool.

"I recognize the perfume. I know it probably came from someone you guys worked with, because it hung around you three all the time, but I haven't smelt it again since. And now it's emerged again." Kurenai had a very determined look on her face. "I know it's pretty much useless of me to ask a man this, but do you remember anyone of this smell?" And she took out Zabuza's still frumpled, unwashed shirt from her purse and held it out to him.

Kakashi took a cautious whiff. "All I smell is the musty scent of Zabuza."

"Oh, I knew it wouldn't work," Kurenai said, putting the shirt up to her face. "It's so obvious!"

Kakashi gave her a blank look. Being a stupid man, his nose just wasn't as sensitive.

"But you must remember something! Isn't there a woman you used to work with closely? Anyone?"

"There was one. But he was a man."

Kurenai sat back in defeat. "If I ever find out who it is…." He could see Kurenai wring the shirt in her hands, red manicured fingernails digging deeply. He shuddered.

"Why don't you try directly asking him? He's right here."

"What?"

And that was when Zabuza rounded the corner, along with…Haku. Zabuza was holding Haku's hand while Haku gazed prettily at the sun, holding a slender hand over her fine brow to hide in its shade. At the ice cream parlour, Kakashi had called Zabuza and told him to meet here as well, hoping that he would be able to reunite the couple, but he didn't expect Zabuza and Haku to still be together. After all, he and Zabuza had been out of touch for several days. Kakashi's plan was severely backfiring now. Zabuza started, "Kakashi, what…." Zabuza stopped short when he saw Kurenai.

Kurenai slowly stood up, wiping off her sniffling nose with a hand. Both women were very beautiful, Kurenai in a more mature, sensuous, and sexy way. Kakashi finally got his first clear look at Haku. Haku's face, previously feminine before, looked more so now. Her skin was very fine and white and her face was very youthful, features small and petite with a delicate figure, to boot. Recognizing him, Haku waved and Kakashi waved slowly back, at a complete loss. Haku did not look like a young man at all. No wonder Zabuza had…slept with her.

Kurenai marched up to Zabuza in her heels. But no, she didn't stop at Zabuza, she walked past Zabuza and over to Haku, who had no idea what was going on. Kurenai raised a hand and….

"Stop!" Zabuza shouted, grabbing Kurenai's hand at the last minute. Kurenai struggled viciously, hitting Zabuza uselessly across the chest in general frustration. Kakashi would have helped hold her back, but he didn't want to be anywhere near her right now.

"Zabuza," Haku asked, tugging on his sleeve. "Who is this woman?"

Kurenai spat in Haku's face and Haku stepped back, surprised. "I'm his future wife, cunt. Who do you think you are, stealing my Zabuza away?"

"My name is Haku," Haku said proudly, stepping forward. "And it wasn't me, sleeping with your man. He was the one who approached me, isn't that right, Zabuza?" she said, hanging onto his arm.

The kids in the soccer field had stopped playing and were now staring at the drama unfolding before them. Kakashi turned around and waved for them to continue playing and one of the kids held up a hand and pointed at Kakashi. Kakashi had no idea what that meant. He turned back around again, intrigued by the drama despite himself.

"Wait, I know you," Kurenai said, a dawn of recognition from hearing the name. "You're just a boy who clung onto Zabuza last year." Kurenai scoffed. "Whatsamatter? Can't compete with a real woman?" Kurenai laughed, her womanly bosom bouncing with her.

Haku frowned and got angry. "I AM a woman." And, with that, Haku unzipped her shirt.

Far off, one of the boys had dropped the soccer ball and all were now staring in awe at the spectacle before them. Kakashi waved for them to stop looking but, being hormonal teenage boys, they completely ignored him.

Kurenai's eyes widened and Zabuza covered his face in his hand. She turned towards Zabuza. "You cheated on me for that little slut?" she asked, pointing at Haku.

"Kurenai, you know I love only you," Zabuza said, grovelling.

Kurenai slapped him, breathing hardly. "After all we've been through…how could you do this to me, Zabuza?" Kurenai was beginning to cry again. "That's it. I'm having an abortion!"

That snapped Zabuza out of it. "Wait. You're pregnant?"

Kurenai stormed over to the bench and grabbed up her purse and Kakashi stepped back, giving her room. Zabuza had the most elated look in his eyes right now. "You're pregnant…. Kurenai! Wait!" And, ditching Haku, he ran after Kurenai.

Kakashi and Haku stared at one another. Kakashi had no idea what to say, and neither did Haku. Haku sniffed and sat on the bench. "What's wrong?" Haku said, talking to herself. "I thought I did everything he wanted. I even changed my whole goddamn look. Why?" Haku buried her face in her hands.

Kakashi gazed down at her sympathetically. "Well, if it makes you feel better, I think you've made a great improvement from last year."  
  
"You think?" Haku said, looking up at Kakashi with tear-streaked eyes.

"Yeah," Kakashi said, taking a seat beside her. "But I've always been meaning to ask you, though…." And with that, Kakashi leaned over and whispered something into Haku's ear.

Haku's eyes widened, then she slapped Kakashi in the face. "Pervert!" Picking up her skirts, she left.

Kakashi laughed. He knew he'd elicit that reaction but it was worth a try. But he really wanted to know what she looked like DOWN THERE.

Sasuke and the boys took the time to shuffle over to him. "Excuse me, mister. Are you Kakashi?" One of the boys asked, a bleach-blond. Kakashi nodded, still smiling widely.

As one, all of the boys huddled forward and started pawing at Kakashi, asking for his autograph. A ways away, Sasuke grinned at him apologetically.

Kakashi shrugged and started signing. Today had been a very amusing afternoon.

* * *

Kakashi and Sasuke ate dinner together by candlelight that night right in the confines of Kakashi's kitchen. For the first time in a while, Kakashi whipped up a home cooked meal and Sasuke was right there, eager to help. Sasuke gazed at a slip of paper tacked to Kakashi's refrigerator with a guitar-shaped magnet.

"Oh, that?" Kakashi said, still cooking. "Someone slipped that under my door a few days ago, and I've been trying to translate the words." Beside the French poem, Sasuke could see Kakashi's messy Japanese characters.

Sasuke took down the poem. "I can't believe you still have it," he whispered.

Kakashi gazed over curiously. "It's yours?"

"No. It's yours now," Sasuke said, smiling and tacking it back up.

"Then…can you tell me what it means? The poem is very beautiful."

Sasuke smiled again, secretly. "I'll let you figure that out."

Which was what Kakashi liked about Sasuke, he supposed – his allure. As Sasuke nodded off to sleep in his bed, Kakashi gazed out his open bedroom window at the lights of the night outside, cars honking, neon signs. While it was busy outside and couples were still out trying to maximize their night time before Saturday morning, Kakashi felt perfectly content staying here. He remembered himself being one of those people down there not too long ago, always on the edge, searching for that one thing that he had been lacking but foolishly thinking that he would find if he just looked a little further. His inspiration. He had lost it a long time ago, just about the time that he hit adulthood. Kakashi almost forgot how great it felt to have it back.

Putting his late-night cigarette out on an ashtray, Kakashi returned back to his bed, and Sasuke's sleepy head nodded awake again. He immediately shuffled over and made room for Kakashi on the double mattress. Smiling in amusement, Kakashi casually lay back and closed his eyes.

"Kakashi?"

Kakashi opened an eye and turned his head to the right. "Yes, Sasuke?"

"Can you take off your mask?"

Kakashi thought about it. He didn't know if he was ready. He could feel Sasuke shuffling a little closer.

Kakashi held out an arm, almost as if to stop Sasuke. He reached to the back of his head to undo the tie, but stopped. "Tell me one thing first," he muffled.

"Yes?"

Kakashi braced himself. "What happened to you that night at Taboo?" Everything significant that happened to him this week started at that one night at that club, didn't it?

At first, Kakashi didn't think Sasuke was going to say anything. The boy lay on his back, silent. Kakashi was about to give up when Sasuke started talking, his voice low and quiet. "I wasn't originally there to see you. I was meeting someone else. But I saw you there, and I felt so happy when I thought you saw me. Then…." Sasuke swallowed hardly. Kakashi turned over on his side, watching Sasuke in concern. "Then I met up with the man I was supposed to meet up with. He says he knew where Itachi was. But he said he wouldn't tell me unless I…" Sasuke's voice became high-pitched. "…did stuff for him." Sasuke continued on, quicker now. "This isn't the first time I did stuff for him. Each time, he would only tell me a little bit, but it would be worth it because I would know that I was getting closer to finding him. It was all I could think about when he used me." Sasuke started crying now, gripping the blankets. "And now I'm so close. But I don't want to, now that you're here."

Kakashi listened to all of this, alarmed. He didn't know that a boy as innocent as him had to endure so much suffering. He reached out to touch Sasuke's face, letting his tears roll down on his hand until Sasuke had calmed down. He could feel Sasuke's heart beating rapidly. He could only imagine what that man had done to Sasuke. How could anyone humane ravage a boy like this? He could feel Sasuke's breathing slowly becoming even. Sasuke gave a little sigh.

"Who is this man?" Kakashi asked sternly.

"I…I don't know his real name," Sasuke said. "He makes me call him Orochimaru."

Indeed. What a name for a sick and twisted man. Sasuke closed his eyes and Kakashi could feel the boy's lashes brushing against his fingers.

"But I know I have to go back," Sasuke whispered. "I won't give up. I'm just so close," he choked.

"Forget it," Kakashi said, banging his hand against the bed frame. "I'm not letting you meet him."

"But…"

"There has to be some other way," Kakashi said, laying back. "I'll look tomorrow, ask around, try to find things out."

"My last meeting with him is tomorrow," Sasuke whispered. "After tomorrow, it will be over."

"You will be over, by the time that man is through with you!" Kakashi shouted, in passion, hanging over Sasuke.

Sasuke blinked, afraid.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said, hand against his forehead. "I'm really sorry. Just promise me you won't go tomorrow?"

Sasuke smiled weakly and nodded.

Kakashi slowly removed his mask and let it fall to the floor. He faced Sasuke in all his honesty and vulnerability. He smiled.

As he made love to Sasuke that night, one hand pinning Sasuke's arm down and the other running tenderly down his small body, his body protecting and engulfing the boy while they kissed, tongues exploring gently, Kakashi felt like he was the luckiest man on earth. When he fell exhausted to sleep, much later, facing Sasuke with the boy breathing softly against his chest, the tune of a song drifted through his mind, one that lingered in his dreams and faded as wakefulness claimed him. Kakashi woke and realized that Sasuke was gone.

**Credits: top verse from Les Nubians - Insomnie. As you've probably guessed, next part will be the last! Unless, of course, it doesn't all fit and I will have to resort to using an epilogue (cries**) **- Echidna**


	5. Closure

**Persuadés de ne plus se revoir   
Ai-je quitté mon insomnie quand j'crois voir dans le noir? **

**Persuaded to never sleep again   
Have I left my insomnia when I believe to see into the night?**

Kakashi placed a hand on the empty spot on the bed beside him. He could still see the imprint that Sasuke's body made on the bed sheets. Except he was gone.

Immediately putting two and two together, Kakashi sat up in bed. He was breathing hardly. No…no….

Kakashi ran out of the bedroom, naked except for the bed sheets he had wrapped around his waist. When it was apparent that Sasuke was not in the kitchen cooking like he thought he would be, he ran to the front door (Sasuke's shoes were gone….) and opened the door.

Sunlight pierced his eyes painfully and Kakashi squinted, covering his eyes with an arm. Walking down the outdoor corridor in his slippers, he looked over the balcony….

He was both relieved and alarmed to see Sasuke hailing a taxi down below. "Sasuke!" Kakashi shouted. He didn't think he'd ever shouted louder in his life.

Sasuke looked up upon hearing Kakashi's scratchy voice. But this just egged him on and made him rush into the taxi even faster. Sasuke looked out the back window of the taxi as it drove away. Kakashi kept staring after it hopelessly until it made a turn on the street ahead, heading towards the slums.

Kakashi rushed back to his apartment and his neighbour, in her bathrobe and fuzzy slippers, screamed. Kakashi rushed into his place without even bothering to close the door behind him.

First of all, he had to calm down. The kid was sixteen. He would be able to take care of himself, he'd done this many times before…. It was the last thought that really tore at him. Why?

Kakashi was having a mental breakdown. Where were his smokes? His smokes…. Spotting the package on the table, he shakily lit up, but his trembling fingers wouldn't work the way they should. He threw the lighter at the fridge and it bounced off and clattered onto the floor. Kakashi ran a hand through his hair. He had to calm down.

First things first, who in the world was Orochimaru? And how could he have known Itachi? Orochimaru could be anyone! Itachi's drug dealer, accomplice or, more likely, a random pervert who's lying to Sasuke…. But Sasuke wouldn't fall for just anyone, would he? Sasuke said he was getting close, so it must be someone that Sasuke knew, or someone he knew was associated with Itachi. He was pretty sure that Sasuke wouldn't just…let himself be used by a random guy.

Whipping on a business suit, he made himself half-presentable to the world, then ran downstairs and started his car. Driving out, he took the exact same turn that the taxi made. From there, it was off to the slums.

* * *

Kakashi walked along the abandoned streets, pieces of paper blowing in circles by his feet. The buildings beside him were about to be torn down, windows smashed with pieces of tape fluttering down its concrete walls. He was back at the place where he and Zabuza first started. 

When had the place come to this? Kakashi hadn't come back here in years. From the time they signed on and became Insomnie, they had moved out of this dump, and proceeded to bigger things, hope of the better. And now he was back. It was all coming full circle now.

Kakashi kicked at an empty soda can. From the dark shadows of the empty, underground parking lots, he could sense someone watching him. Kakashi gazed into the shadows, and saw several kids staring at him, the whites of their eyes peering suspiciously from the dark. It was then that he realized that he wasn't alone. This place was full of kids, kids who, like him, called this place home and who didn't have the company of anyone to call family except each other.

"Yo," Kakashi said, bending over and staring into the shadows. "It's Kakashi." Kakashi had no idea if the old kids would still be here. He was just randomly guessing in the hopes that someone here would be able to help him.

A rock was thrown from the shadows and Kakashi deftly dodged it, old reflexes unforgotten. "Konohamaru!" he heard a voice scold from the shadows, then a slap. Then someone stood up and slowly walked towards him.

He didn't recognize the face at first, but its familiar shape and particular gait brought back a rush of memories. "Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru glared at him. He was a lot older, but he was definitely the same. His hair was still tied back in its punk ponytail and twin earrings gleamed from both ears. He had grown taller, almost as tall as Kakashi. He stood there, staring Kakashi up and down. "I see you've lived well," he said, noting the business suit.

"Not really," Kakashi said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. He was both happy yet nostalgic that he ran into someone from the old days. Although he and Shikamaru were never that close because of the age difference, he had treated Shikamaru like a younger brother, much like the rest of the other little ones.

"So, I heard that you and Zabuza are making lots of money now, eh? That you guys finally formed a successful band." It sounded almost accusing.

Kakashi slowly nodded. He wasn't sure if Shikamaru's definition of success was the same as his own. All that mattered to him now was that he find Sasuke.

"So, what are you doing back here?" Shikamaru always had a tendency to get right to the point.

"I'm looking for someone," Kakashi replied, eyes pained. Shikamaru looked shocked. This wasn't a side of Kakashi that he'd seen before. Kakashi supposed that he'd changed a lot. At Shikamaru's silence, Kakashi continued on. "I'm looking for a boy with messy, dark hair and eyes as deep as darkest night. He should be a little younger than you, and he's pale. A schoolboy."

Shikamaru stared at him carefully before answering. "No," he said slowly. "Never seen him."

"Then have you seen Itachi?" Kakashi asked desperately. It still pained him to even say the former friend's name.

"What do you want with him?" Shikamaru asked, scowling.

"So you know where he is," Kakashi began slowly.

"Everyone SUSPECTS they know where he is, but no one's actually seen him. After he signed his life away to that devil manager, he never came back. They never do," Shikamru said, glaring accusingly at Kakashi.

"What's he up to now?"

"The same, I guess." Shikamaru shrugged. "As I said, no one's actually seen him. All we ever get to see is his stupid manager, Mr. O."

"O? As in, Orochimaru?"

Shikamaru shrugged again. "Who cares? All managers are evil."

That was when a little kid ran out. He looked like a miniature version of Shikamaru. A tattered make-believe cape flowed along behind him and he wore a cracked helmet on his head. He had a toothy grin. "Mr. O is gross! He always tries to get me and the others to play with him, but we all know he's an evil man who took Itachi away!" He puffed out his little chest defiantly.

"Konohamaru, get back in there," Shikamaru said sternly, pointing back in the direction from which he came. Konohamaru stuck out his tongue at him and Kakashi crouched down, suddenly interested.

"This Mister O," he said to Konohamaru, trying to get some information out of the little one. "Where does he stay?"

"I'll show you!" Konohamaru said angrily. He ran off.

Shikamaru shook his head. "It's good to see you back," he said, in his poker-faced way.

Kakashi turned and smiled. "You, too." He took Shikamaru's fist in his own. "You've grown into a fine young man."

"Tsch. Whatever," Shikamaru said, waving Kakashi away. Kakashi turned around and dashed after Konohamaru. "Dig the earrings."

Kakashi smiled through his mask. Some things never changed.

* * *

Konohamaru dashed in and out of the concrete boulders and it was all Kakashi could do to not lose sight of him or smash a shin into one of the bricks. The place was getting tattier and more menacing. He thought he saw a couple of hypodermic needles lying around, but he guessed he shouldn't be surprised. 

Konohamaru finally stopped at a side street in front of a nondistinct building. He pointed at the door. "Mister O always stays here when he visits. I don't wanna go any further." He crossed his arms and stayed put.

"Thanks," Kakashi said, scratching the boy on the top of his head. He looked up. The place was about three stories and had several rooms, one of which he knew would contain Orochimaru…or Sasuke. He had already wasted a lot of valuable time in the slums. Opening the door, he stepped into the dirty hallway.

Like the others, this building was abandoned. The only people who ever lived here were bums or drug addicts, not a place where you would raise a family. Parts of the wall facing the hallway were torn down, and he could see various dirty individuals living in makeshift rooms. Ignoring them, Kakashi rapidly made his way down the hallway and towards the staircase at the very end. An old woman sitting at the bottom of the stairs asked him if he'd seen her daughter. He shook his head, no, jumped over her, and started running up the stairs.

The hallway on the second floor appeared to be much of the same. It wasn't until he reached the third floor that the place began to look cleaner. Sunlight poured through a window at the top of the stairs, contrasting ironically with the dank living environments below. He thought he heard something….

In the middle of the hallway, two big men, obviously bodyguards, were chatting to each other about nonsensical things. Women. How much she'd drink before she slept with them. Kakashi quietly stepped into the hallway and they both looked towards him. Then they began stalking over, cocky grins on their faces.

"And what do we have here? Someone who's wandered up too far? Maybe you should go back downstairs where you belong," one of them said, picking at Kakashi's shoulder.

Kakashi shrugged his shoulder away, glaring. "Mr. O wanted to see me," he hazarded.

"Mr. O ain't accepting any visitors today. He's very busy," the other one said, leering and glancing over his shoulder at one of the closed doorways.

These men were wasting his time. "Sasuke!" he shouted.

Behind a closed doorway, Kakashi thought he could hear Sasuke's voice being muffled, then a slap. Alarmed, Kakashi charged forward but the two burly bodyguards formed a human wall, disallowing passage. "Sasuke!"

Nothing that he did would ever be able to get through to these idiots. Their necks were the size of small tree trunks. Kakashi looked around helplessly, searching for some sort of weapon….

Then he spotted it, lying among bloodied paper towels in the corner of an empty room. Charging in, he hesitated only slightly before picking it up. The guards did not bother stopping him.

Kakashi brandished the empty syringe point-first towards one of the bodyguards and the man raised his arms up, not wanting bodily contact with that thing. The other one wasn't so smart.

"What're you gonna do with that?" he asked. "Poke me?"

Kakashi casually walked forward until the syringe was pointed at the stupid guy's neck. "HIV," he mouthed, and rapidly stabbed the syringe into the guy's arm.

The bodyguard paled and raised his eyes up to Kakashi imploringly as he fell to his knees and on the floor. He would probably be fine. There was a chance that the needle wasn't infected, but he had to rely on shock right now. Slipping past, Kakashi braced himself and kicked the closed door open. The door was rusting on its hinges anyway, and broken splinters blew inwards, scattering all over the floorboards. When he saw the sight before him, he almost cried.

Sasuke was completely naked. His pale, frail body was kneeling at the foot of a dirty bed, bruised all over. He could see blood pooling where Sasuke sat, bleeding from his anus. Wet streaks, from either salty tears or semen was streaking down his pretty face, leaving behind dried marks and, right now, his mouth was forced open at its maximum, almost choking as the man who could only be Orochimaru grabbed the top of Sasuke's messy hair and forced himself into Sasuke's mouth. Orochimaru was sitting back naked on his bed, an absolutely elated yet smug look on his face, pale, skinny body slick with fluids as his long, dark hair stuck to it. He licked his lips with a sharp tongue, yelling at Sasuke to work harder.

That was all that Kakashi needed to see in that one instant. Rushing forward, Orochimaru barely had time to look up before Kakashi brutally punched Orochimaru in his sick face, sending him flying towards the edge of the bed. Sasuke blinked and gazed up blearily.

Kakashi wasn't done. Leaping on the bed, he grabbed Orochimaru's head up by his long, stringy hair and punched him again. Blood was coming out of Orochimaru's nose now. He towered over Orochimaru and continued punching him in the face, the formerly suave manager now rendered helpless beneath Kakashi's mad onslaught. Kakashi could feel Sasuke's hands wrapping around his arms, telling him to stop. Sasuke's voice was so distant now. It wasn't until Sasuke gently hugged his body from behind that he let his fist fall.

"You'll never find out where Itachi is now," Orochimaru spitted, still grinning among a mouthful of blood. "He's mine."

Kakashi stood up, wrapping an arm protectively around Sasuke. "Itachi died from the moment he signed his life away with you. It does not matter where he is now." Taking off his jacket, he wrapped it around Sasuke's naked body and lead him out. They stepped casually over the still fearful bodyguards, down the stairs, and then back to the first floor. It wasn't until they were alone that Kakashi bent down and hugged Sasuke. Sasuke, finally letting his emotions release at the touch of a warm body, started crying. Sasuke cried and cried and Kakashi reached up to cradle his precious head, rubbing his hand reassuringly down the boy's back. Kakashi didn't scold. Didn't say anything, just let the boy hold him. Sometimes, that's all someone needed.

Kakashi looked into Sasuke's dirty face. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," he whispered.

Sasuke shook his head, then said the words that he needed to hear. "I'll never run away from you ever again."

"Come," Kakashi said, holding Sasuke's hand. "Let's go home."

They picked their way through the rubble when a voice croaked out weakly from among the shadows of one of the makeshift homes. "Kakashi."

Kakashi stopped. He knew that voice. Even though it sounded scratchy and very faint, there was only one man he knew who had a voice like that. Kakashi slowly turned towards the source.

A figure, whom he had passed by absently before, on his search for Sasuke, was sitting among the shadows, dirty blankets surrounding his figure. Kakashi slowly stepped forward into the makeshift home of the bums and stopped.

Itachi. Uchiha Itachi. Kakashi could not believe his eyes. Not because he was actually reuniting with someone whom he hasn't seen in too many years, but because the person staring nearly blindly up at him could possibly be the person that he once knew.

Itachi looked ten years older than he should have been. Deep seams ran down his unnaturally pointy face, angular because of the lack of meat. Dirt piled relentlessly in those seams, dirt that could only be gathered by staying outdoors without the touch of a wash for years, too many years to ever be properly removed. Hair that was once shiny and vibrant and black was now dull with dust, dust clinging in clumps almost like dreadlocks over the skinny face. Itachi's eyes were unfocused, gaze darting back and forth but never directly at his friend, never at Kakashi.

Kakashi told Sasuke to stay at the doorway. He bent down and looked into Itachi's face.

Itachi's wandering eyes finally spotted Kakashi. "Long time no see, brother." Even though he conversed to Kakashi, his mind was off somewhere else.

"Hi, Itachi," Kakashi said quietly. "How've you been doing?"

Itachi's eyes darted back and forth. "Have you seen it?"

"Seen what?" Kakashi answered, even though he knew it was pointless. Talking to a drugged up person was like trying to humour yourself.

Itachi was too weak to even raise his arm. Kakashi knew that he would be gone soon.

Kakashi took Itachi's blankets and wrapped it firmly around his old friend. Itachi had slumped sideways. His once sparkling eyes, now dull, could barely stay open as the lids half covered them. "Do you remember when we were kids?" Kakashi asked, falsely cheerful, a lump in his throat. "We were always saying we would conquer the world. Just you, me, and Zabuza. Remember?"

Itachi closed his eyes. He had fallen into a sleep in which he would never wake up.

Kakashi continued staring for awhile, he wasn't sure how long, until he could hear Sasuke's feet ruffling on the concrete.

Looking up, with tears stained in his eyes, Kakashi blinked and smiled. He had someone he needed to take care of.

Blocking Sasuke's view, he led him out the door of the building and back into sunshine. "Was that your friend?" Sasuke asked, gazing up at him innocently.

"No. Just someone I once knew." Leading Sasuke back to his car, he waved at Konohamaru, who was waiting curiously outside the building, Shikamaru behind him. "I don't think Mr. O will return to bug you again."

Shikamaru nodded while Konohamaru stoutly puffed up his little chest and grinned toothily. Kakashi shook his head. It was good to be back.

* * *

Kakashi stood in front of Yondaime's grave, smoking a cigarette. The white lilies he had placed there splayed across the gravestone, and Yondaime's youthful face would be forever smiling, telling Kakashi to continue on. Another of the rock star greats lost to the abuse of drugs. 

Kakashi could hear someone trudging up the path behind him and he turned around. It was Zabuza, wearing a formal black suit, much like his own. "Still up here reminiscing?"

"No. Just passing on." They both stared at Yondaime's grave for awhile, lost in thought.

"You know, you really shouldn't be smoking up here."

Kakashi shrugged. Far off, old friends were mourning at Itachi's funeral. He could spot Sasuke at the forefront, kneeling down and respecting the brother that he never knew. Kakashi had given his respects a while ago, but he knew that the most important part of Itachi had been gone long before he died in that building. He was glad that Itachi did not die alone.

A ways off, Gaara and his girls stood, watching respectfully. Gaara, spotting them, waved them over.

"Although I am not closely affiliated with Itachi," Gaara began, "I am curious as to what Sasuke is doing there."

"Itachi is Sasuke's older brother," Kakashi replied. Everyone, including Zabuza, gave Kakashi a wide-eyed stare.

"Little Itachi," Zabuza said, gazing at Sasuke.

"I heard that Itachi's manager went to jail," Sakura piped up.

Behind her black veil, Ino nodded. "Apparently, he was corrupt and found guilty of numerous charges, including murder, dealing with illegal drugs, and prostitution, among other things," she said offhandedly, as if she encountered these things every day.

Kakashi nodded. Sasuke would be glad to hear this. Far off, he could see little Konohamaru tugging on Sasuke's sleeve and asking him questions.

A car horn honked and they could see Kurenai waving from the driver's seat. Zabuza started walking towards her.

"Off so soon?" Kakashi asked, smiling.

"Wedding arrangements," Zabuza replied, waving his arm as his friends laughed at him. He was glad that Zabuza and Kurenai were back together again.

"If you had to pick between us, who would you marry?" Sakura asked Gaara, clinging onto his arm.

Gaara scowled at both of them. "It's too early to think about that now." Behind her black veil, Ino smiled.

Sasuke was just about done. Sasuke walked over quietly just as Gaara and his cats left. Kakashi smiled at him.

Taking Sasuke's hand, they walked away across the field, the tall grass blowing at their feet. For the first time in a long time, Kakashi did not see grey.

THE END

**Credits: Top verse from Les Nubians – Insomnie**

**Hope you liked the ending! I just want to give a big, fat warm thank you to Sakaba Sharpie. Without your reviews from the very beginning, I would never have gotten this far. Thank you also to Queen of Vegetasei: I think we're on the same wavelength, girl! I'm so glad I have found someone from whom I could illicit that kind of response! (It was actually what I originally intended and you hit everything on the button!) To everyone else, thank you so much for reading and I just hope a little part of this story has found a place in your heart :) **

**I was thinking of doing an arc about Gaara & his cats...you know, history with a little bit of the present. Anyone up for it? Or is it too out of character that it would make you cringe? If so, I'll try to make it more tasteful and not plain porn, know what I mean? Anyway...hope to see you soon! - luv, Echidna**


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